Savorings...401-450

401. Slip-n-Slide

402. Seeing deer on my run at Long Hunter State Park

403. New experiences with my youth

404. The youth and adults willing to try PULSE at a new location

405. Watching youth softball games

406. Meeting Emily & Becky on a 4- mile run

407. A running groups acceptance & care for individuals

408. Sandi's gift to REI - and my hammock!!

409. Getting to stand alongside Bev & Scott on their sweet day

410. Rain clouds that pass just in time for their picnic & ceremony

411. Lunch with Clint at Prince's Hot Chicken

412. The Wonder Women & their flexibility & willingness to serve as needed

413. Moving my furniture from Pensacola to Lebanon.

414. After my wallet was stolen - Susie's clarity about my drivers license 

415. Having everything I needed to replace my license in a couple hours

416. American Express overnighting a new card to me.

417. Susie helping me pay for my moving truck

418. Friends who I can just be with even when I'm hurting

419. Movies with Lisa & Tim

420. Watching Gene back the truck into his backyard

421. All of the youth & friends who came at the last minute to help me load up

422. Testosterones song at Sandie & Joe's wedding.

423. Sharing stories after the wedding

424. Susie's food that I get for my drive back

425.  Driving with the windows down in a 24 foot diesel truck because the air went out...but the air was cool enough that I actually enjoyed it

426. The youth and friends who helped me unload my furniture into storage in Lebanon

427. Free storage from a stranger

428. Breakfast at the pancake pantry with Karla, Helen, Lauren & Paige

429. Following the Pensacola FUMC youth & adults on their choir tour

430. My friend who let me stay at her house for sabbath when my home wasn't

431. Realizing that Lorene may not make it & then hearing that she might get new lungs

432. Staying up late on June 20 to wait for the results of Lorene's double lung transplant 

433. The relief & joy I felt (& still feel) when Steve let us know she came through surgery well

434. Reconnecting with high school friends because of sharing in Lorene's story

435. Celebrating her recovery processs

436.  Running on the greenway from Kohls

437. Teaching youth to put tents up

438. Camping in a state park for the week

439. Eating spaghetti in the rain win my youth after our first day doing home repair

440. Watching my youth take risk and succeed

441. Closing worship - speaking a kindness to the person on our right

442. Watching the fog lift during morning devotion at Devil's Pass, Big South Fork National Park

443. Getting to know our home owners

444. Watching every one of the youth & adults climb the tower

445. Getting to each one of these youth better

446. The loud, loud bird that kept every one up at night

447. The bear frog

448. Taking Annie to the ER and her bloodwork was ok

449. Learning how to back-up a trailer

450. Jake's humor and ability to speak truth

Prayer is sitting in the silence until it silences us, choosing gratitude until we are grateful, and praising God until we ourselves are an act of praise. –Richard Rohr.

This beautiful child is full of life!!  Spring 2013

Savorings...351-400

351. The feel of an actual book

352. A drink outside with a new friend

353. Partnering with new people in ministry

354. Uncertainty and eagerness of middle schoolers

355. When a teenager checks on her mom through text

356. So many people stopping me to make sure I know that they are glad that I am here

357. Parent meeting

358. Questions that invite teenagers to tell some of their story

359. Parents wanting to get involved in a new way with the youth meeting

360. Seeing parents experience hope

361. Homemade Ginger and lemon cookies - yum

362. Telling Pam that the teenagers like having her around & they want her to help more

363. The look on her face after I told her

364. That the Winfrees came to serve at Joseph's Storehouse on Saturday

365. Sunday afternoon naps

366. Fresh smell of clean laundry warming in the sun

367. Texts from Michelle, Shari and Gregg - checking on the parent meeting

368. Mom's hard recipes that taste so good

369. Family on Memorial Day

370. Warm blankets to curl up under

371. Cheering on runners with strangers

372. Watching my sister with her daughter

373. Hugs that fit just right

374. Friends who drive me back & forth to the airport

375. Birthday cards from youth and parents

376. Lulu lemon gift card

377. Grandpa's birthday bonds for the majority of my life

378. Hand written cards

379. Setting a personal record of 27:45 at the Memorial 5k!!! 

380. My dad taking care of my mom

381. Mom trying to help in the kitchen even though she's in a wheelchair for now.

382. Laughter with mom & dad in the kitchen

383. The way Grace's smile happens so quickly 

384. Holding Grace and breathing her in

385. When she nuzzles into my neck

386. Telling my aunt that I'm proud of her - 

387. That she's taking a risk by making some hard life decisions

388. Dad taking me to Rita's ice tonight

389. Spending the day with Grace and my mom

390. I love watching Grace see things

391. Birthday dinner of steak and crab legs

392. Grandpa brought Wendy's salads over for lunch cause that's his new routine with mom

393. Singing old Raffi songs with mom & Grace

394. All the birthday wishes from so many people that I've known over my life through calls, texts and facebook

395. Kissing my mom on the head

396. Homemade steak sauce

397. Talking to Sandi about Blue Like Jazz today

398. My mom's pantry always stocked for anything

399.  Mom's voice

400. Falling asleep as dad plays his classical guitar

"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that's given us." ~ JR Tolkien

Centennial Trail, South Dakota 2005

Savorings...251-300

251. Cooking with mom

252. Running with my dad in the Homerun for the Homeless - in a snow storm

253. Sitting on the back porch watching the sun slowly go down

254. My parents always have crab and lobster for me when I go home

255. Taking a bath at Grandma Carolyn's with her Calgon

256. Sleeping in my day's bed at grandma Helen's

257. Snow with honey

258. Cinnamon Certs at grandma Helen's

259. Latch hook at grandma Carolyn's

260. Grandpa Dean measuring how tall I was on his back porch

261. German Christkindl markt

262. Brat wurst

263. The smell of my mom's laundry - mine never smells as good

264. Real candles on real Christmas trees

265. Mumford and Sons last year with Susie, gene, Ingrid, Brenda, Abe & Cameron

266.  Getting home from wilderness trail after the big bus broke down

267. Moving every other year or so of my childhood

268. Honeysuckle

269. Pomegranate seeds and mud pies

270. Learning how to roller skate in plastic skates

271. My tree house in New Mexico

272. Having a sister

273. Building forts at the Wombles

274. Listening to Barbra Streisand with mom

275. Learning to crochet in 3rd grade

276. Laura Ingalls Wilder books

277. My aunt Daun's creative gifts 

278. Walking to school in the snow

279. My favorite pair of jeans

280. My too many pairs of chaco's

281. Osprey backpacks and their customer service

282. A good massage from a boyfriend

283. Cooking dinner with friends

284. Dad's pancake faces or words on Saturday mornings

285. That dad always forgets how Julia and I like our waffles and there is still a note over his stove to remind him

286. Running to explore north of Lebanon.

287. Driving up and down roads to find Don Fox Park  and other places that people talk about all the time.

288. Lectio Devina

289. Honest conversation with Pulse

290. Long days at work 

291. Middle school plays that are short and funny

292. A new friend willing to be spontaneous

293. Good coffee

294. Yummy grilled cheese

295. Lunch outside in sweet Roswell

296. A great deal for a hotel

297. Outdoor concerts

298. Running into Chris and Josh

299. Youth ministry interns who are now dear friends and peers

300. The gift of a free shirt

"We pray for the big things and forget to give thanks for the ordinary, small (and yet really not small) gifts.” ~ Dietrich Bonhoffer

Neuburg an der Donau, October 2011

Savorings... 201-250

201. A window seat to rest in before dinner

202. Tennessee farm houses

203. Dinner with the first family who invited me over

204. Watching Toly open his birthday presents

205. Having an off day

206. Tim checking on me today

207. Praying for my youth this morning

208. Small answered prayer for a hard situation

209. Watching my dad sing to mom & Grace on my iPad

210. Working with a team of people who seem to all love & honor each other

211. Signing up for as many free birthday meals that I can find :)

212. Mom's foot healing well

213. A raining morning off 

214. Time to read 

215. Officially moving to Lebanon

216. Time with Ingrid to catch up

217. Whole foods

218. Breakfast with Laura, Bev, Melissa and Vona

219. Walking around Franklin downtown 

220. Yummy Mexican food at Sopapillas new restaurant in Hendersonville

221. Hart of Dixie season two with Ingrid

222. Making jokes with 7th and 8th graders

223. Taking time to go to 3 different grocery stores for the best prices

224. Preparing meals for the week

225. Playing with chia seed 

226. Getting to a 5:15 am boot camp outside in 38 degrees

227. Loving the boot camp

228. That I speak German

229. The noise my mom's knee makes 

230. That I spent most of my childhood in Germany

231. Reading the Laura Ingalls Wilder collection at least 30 times

232. My mom singing to me when I went to bed

233. Tapes from Grandpa Dean on my childhood birthdays of songs that he wanted me to know about

234. I still have the tape from my 7th birthday

235. I interviewed my Grandma Carolyn when I was in 8th grade and still have the recording

236. My best friend, Bettina, from 2nd grade

237. Bettina's family - I loved spending time with them

238. Lemon and coffee ice in Europe

239. Schnitzel, spaetzel and spezi

240. Clean water to drink any time I want

241. The opportunity to go to Nigeria in 2008 and 2009

242. Listening to my dad play Bach when I was going to bed in high school

243. Making root beer with my grandpa 

244. Music therapy

245. Hiking the Appalachian trail with my sister

246. Recognizing the Hermit Thrush call - and I love it

247. Hiking in New Zealand 

248. Walking up to Mount Rushmore without paying because we were hiking the Centennial Trail

249. Borrowing a car to drive to Rhode Island while staying the night in Connecticut

250. Memories that are popping up through this process

"Pride slays thanksgiving, but a humble mind is the soil out of which thanks naturally grow. A proud man is seldom a grateful man, for he never thinks he gets as much as he deserves." ~ Henry Ward Beecher

Tongariro Crossing I New Zealand, 2009 

Savorings...151-200

151. Kale salads with black bean burgers

152. Time to watch "Life of Pi"

153. Running in the rain with a new Galloway group

154. Running and boot camp

155. Muscle fatigue

156. The youth and some adults praying & laying on hands on me at both Sunday services

157. Falling in love with these youth

158. Hearing hard stories and getting to walk with them

159. Long Sundays at church - but lots of moments of real relationships

160. 40 degree weather in May

161. Eating "cleaner" but still eating fig newtons

162. The sky tonight 

163. Clean laundry and the freedom to wash clothes as needed

164. Bev's Chili

165. Phone calls from Stacy, Anne and Sandi all in one day

166. Exploring Mt. Juliet

166. Finding Tater Peeler Road in Lebanon

167. Celebrating the graduates in Pensacola

168. Coffee because of a Kurig

169. Patty & Lisa taking care of mundane things because its their job to make my job easier

170. Pam's love of Our church and her stories about her "angels"

171. Speaking at the church council

172. My first night leading UMYF

173. That they call it UMYF

174. Going to 4 concerts and a soccer game in two nights

175. Driving around town with my windows down and just enjoying the long drive

176. Getting to know FUMC parents better

177. Being given a sweatshirt to cover my head at the soccer game when it rained a bit

178. Staff meetings - though long - that are about caring for people

179. My email finally working

180. Clean towels

181. Bev's porch for sabbath

182. Running by myself

183. Free birthday burgers from Red Robin

184. Reading a book that I don't want to put down

185. Slowly walking up two flights of stairs after boot camp

186. The beautiful clouds this morning

187. Getting a text prayer request from a youth

188. The smell of a new coconut shampoo.

189. Lectio Devina with Pulse

190. Hearing the variety of take aways from the Acts 16 passage

191. Celery and smuckers natural peanut butter

192. A new laptop to use

193. Team ministry

194. Remembering favorite songs & tv shows from childhood

195. Laughter with youth about these memories

196. Have I mentioned the Sonic across the street from the church

197. Realizing that I'm one of the fastest runners at boot camp - how'd that happen?

198. Scott McKnight calling to catch up

199. Trusting God with hard situations

200. The Voice Bible & getting to ask my youth to give the publishing company feedback about it

 "We can only be said to be alive in those moments when our hearts are conscious of our treasures." ~Thornton Wilder

    Alaska: Near Girdwood on my snow mobiling trip

Savorings...101-150

101. Windows rolled down
102. New adventures
103. Going to the Carr wedding
104. Tim taking time to go to the beach with me on my last day in Pcola
105. Gene making me Russ Hudson chicken
106. CD's that friends make for the journey
107. That people trust me with their stories
108. Holder Hudson losing a dare to me
109. Palafox Market
110. Walking around the market with Heidi & Mamie after our long run downtown
111. Singing at the top of my lungs on car rides
112. As hard as its been to leave the youth & people I love dearly - that I finally left FUMC Pensacola
113. A place to live. 3 minutes from the church & only $500 a month
114. Wilson Trawick keeping me up to date on random things through text
115. Being able to receive
116. Being made a priority
117. Bev opening her home to me
118. Ingrid being willing to let me stay at her house too
119. Cool mornings
120. Meeting 34 of my new youth
121. Setting up my new office
122. All of the beautiful photography & crosses that I've been given recently
123. Spending time recognizing major changes in my life
124. YMCP reunion!!!! Love these guys!
125. Great discussions about recognizing how powerless we are and trusting the Holy Spirit with our youth ministries.
126. Getting to know the staff at Lebanon FUMC
127. Michelle Wilde & how much she loves the teenagers
128. Being prayed for by 7 of my YMCP guys
129. Vulnerability within my YMCP
130. Two hours to sit and blog at the Parthenon
131. 80 degree weather that is not humid!!
132. Running at the Vanderbilt campus
133. Sweet potato pancakes at the Pancake Pantry
134. Playing "word of the week" with some of the youth at bible study(The Pulse)
135. Catching up with Tim
136. Getting a card in the mail at church from my best friend, Sandi Taylor
137. Putting my feet up on my desk while looking over the mission trip info
138. Being asked to pray at the UMM spaghetti dinner
139. Dropping off clothing at my new apartment
140. Finding Curious Hearts
141. Clean laundry for my two workouts tomorrow
142. Being sore
143. Running an 8:15 mile!!
144. Ginger lemon cookies
145. Sandie calling me to let me know that she & Joe are engaged!
146. Yummy sushi in Lebanon
147. Laughing with Matt
148. Haircuts outside
149. Long conversations with my sister
150. Getting a little lost in Nashville

“Piglet noticed that even though he had a Very Small Heart, it could hold a rather large amount of Gratitude.” ~ A.A. Milne

Savorings... 51-100

51. Watching the fog lift out of the valley
52. Long phone calls
53. Reuniting with good friends
54. An 8 mile run after a month of inconsistent running
55. Hard conversations
56. Visiting my best friends church
57. Listening to the FUMC youth & adults share their experiences in Eleuthera
58. Long naps on a Sunday afternoon
59. Thank you letters that are 2 pages and typed
60. Dinners on the back porch
61. Playing on the swings with Cora
62. Time to linger at meals
63. Crosses made from refurbished wood
64. Remembering & telling stories
65. Walking with Kylie & Heidi
66. Hugs
67. Being called Sacagawea
68. Praying with and for Clint and Hugo
69. Theology Pub Club - gonna miss that community
70. Phone calls with good friends
71. Wednesday morning run and Bagelheads for 7 years
72. Lisa Bond and her expressions
73. Wine & dinner on a back porch swing
74. Cactus Flower's guacamole
75. Miss Betty
76. Seeing the volunteers & staff at FUMC on Wednesdays
77. Dinner with Stacy and Ben
78. Pedicure & Chardonnay's with Susie
79. Tim being willing to go on adventure with me
80. Taking Tim to Blue Lake
81. Hiking on the Conecuh Trail
82. Picnic
83. Haikus
84. Memories of writing on the wall with Ruby at Pinewood
85. Lambeth Chapel
86. Sleeping in on Fridays
87. Tree Tunnel on 12th Avenue
88. No humidity on the beach
89. The color of Blue Lake was sooo blue!!
90. Playing with Robby McKnight
91. Listening to classical guitar music
92. Dreaming about going to Iceland
93. Reading Lorene's blog
94. My journey cd's
95. Catching an afternoon movie with Lisa
96. I might have a roommate in Lebanon
97. Sitting in the hospital with friends
98. Airheads
99. Being asked to write a blog for 30 Hour Famine
100. Actually writing the blog

Wants? Got some?

I'm re-reading Donald Millers book A Million Miles in a Thousand Years for the third time(two times in the past few months).

I am so taken with the idea of telling a good story with our lives. The first time I was introduced to this idea - was by Dan Allendar at his 2004 "To Be Told" seminar in Franklin, TN. I bought his notes & later bought his book as well. I've used STORY as a summer theme for my senior high teaching back in 2008. I love the idea of story.

Every time I explore this idea either through a conference, DVD, or a book - I learn something new that clarifies my action or inaction and helps me to redirect. It's almost frustrating as well as slightly comical. It takes me a couple times to really learn something. Why couldn't I learn what I needed to learn the first time I read it? But here I am repeating patterns and realizing some of them for the first time. Again.

It's been challenging and encouraging to read Miller's words about story, character, conflict, development and think about how the shaping of stories applies to the story of my life.

I know that for a year or so I stopped living out my entire story...in some ways I was just trying to get by. Maybe God allows for times like that in our stories. I hope I didn't miss too much. Either way I know that I'm not the only one who has gone through that kind of darkness.

Right now I'm in the middle of a story that's bigger than me right now. My life has changed quite a bit in the last 6 months. I can even tell you exactly when this story jump started but I have no idea where this story is going. I'm just in it.

Do I need to know where it's going? Do I know where I want it to go??

In chapter 19, Miller asks a question that I've been sitting with most of today:

“I was watching the movie Star Wars recently and wondered what made that movie so good. Of course, there are a thousand reasons. But I also noticed that if I paused the DVD on any frame, I could point toward any major character and say exactly what that person wanted. No character had a vague ambition.
It made me wonder if the reasons our lives seem so muddled is because we keep walking into scenes in which we, along with the people around us, have no clear idea what we want.”

Yikes. Do I know exactly what I want?

For the most part... I would say, yes:
To live a life filled with sabbath
To travel
To come alongside others with prayer
To visit all 50 states
To run a marathon each year and raise money for the National Multiple Scerosis Society
To eat good food
To love teenagers and be an advocate for them
To help teenagers see beyond the world that they currently live in
To be a youth minister
To spend lots of time with my beautiful niece, Grace
To empower others to find their place in the body of Christ

And...

Um. I want to be married. And have a child.

Married?

[Maybe I should erase that]

Do I live out my life like marriage is something I want? I don't think I do.

I believed early on in my life that it was better or stronger to take care of yourself and to not need anyone else. I've been fighting that lie in many different areas of my story but I still pretend that it is true when it comes to falling in love. It feels shameful.

I like to be the one who travels and explores and eats yummy food and...

Ech. I do want to erase all of this.

I'm afraid that it will never happen and it's easier to pretend you never wanted it.

My God is not the God of fear.

I don't believe that being married is the ultimate goal in life. I don't have to be married to have a complete life. I want someone in my life. Someone who is willing to dance this messy but beautiful dance with me... and God. Who will choose to love me. On the days he takes delight in me and especially on the days he doesn't.

So in my story - how do I live out that desire.

I am attempting to keep my heart open even when it gets hurt. To risk being hurt again and again. I've taken a few risks lately and I have been hurt. I have also been able to see glimpses of glory in some of the situations. And those glimpses make everything else worth it.

“Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” - C.S. Lewis