Savor. 551-600

551. An afternoon with Mary Arthur in Nashville. 

552. Finding a masseuse at Massage Envy who helps me be ready for the marathon.

553. My community. All of my friends who cheered me on through text, fb and in person during my 20 mile training run.

554. Falling asleep on the couch with Nathan while waiting for Brenda's flight to get here.

555. Life changing conversations with Brenda.

556. House sitting with Toly and Yana.

557. Long conversations about life and faith and brokenness with Yana.

558. Building a little trust with both of them.

559. The invitation to sing at the church for the first time.

560. Learning a new song in two days.

561. The congregations sweet response when they realize that I can sing.

562. Driving down I-65 with Brenda & Ingrid with Mumford and Sons playing loudly.

563. Rereading "Love Does" by Bob Goff.

564. Giving Susie my copy of "Love Does". 

565. Celebrating Susie's birthday in a small way by decorating her hotel room in gator colors.

566. The gift of a free flight to Pensacola with Gene.

567. Feeling I was coming home when we got to Pensacola.

568. Trying to see many of the people I love while in town.

569. But also giving myself permission to not see everyone so I could rest well.

570. Meeting Clay and having a new friend in ministry with him.

571. Getting to share what I love about all of the amazing youth he works with. 

572. Meeting Lisa's new boyfriend.

573. Candis was in Pensacola at the same time I am!

574. Meeting Heidi and Denise to run at Bagelheads on Wednesday morning.

575. Laughter with them. 

576. The fact that they mocked me for forgetting my running shorts  and I wore a skort instead. And they though I was just wearing a khaki skirt and no underwear. Ha.

577. Play and laughter with Cora. And Stacy and Ben. 

578. Pedicures, songs,friends and good food in honor of Susie.

579. The fresh, cool breeze when I got off of the plane in Nashville. 

580. Getting back to Nashville in time to spend a couple hours with Nathan before he went on a retreat for the weekend. 

581. Meeting Becky and Emily E. to run twelve miles on the greenway.

582. Experiencing Shari's Run - one of Lebanon local 5k's with church members.

583. Gorgeous weather to run in. 

584. Freedom to leave work early to get my haircut.

585. Catching up with Merrill.

586. Spending an evening exploring live music on Broadway with Nathan.

587. Stories about our families and experiences that shape us into who we are right now.

588. Inviting middle schoolers to be open to a life of faith filled with adventure at Winfree Bryant Middle School FCA.

589. Spontaneous photo of all the middle schoolers from the stage.

590. Short nap on the middle of the afternoon.

591. Listening to suicide survivors tell their stories at the "Never Alone" rally.

592. Being asked to do the opening prayer at the rally.

593. Getting to take care of Nathan after he injured his knees at Ultimate frisbee.

594. A weekend in Black Mountain, NC.

595. Having sweet and wise friends to sit with when my world is turned upside down.

596. The risk of opening my heart to someone else.

597. Bubbles in the mountains.

598. Roasted broccoli with parm and lemon.

599. Local Carolina brews.

600. Friends who are family.

"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

Photo by Susie Schmidt at the Knob.

Year Four. Day 43

My sabbath spot for the morning. I love that I've been gifted this space for sabbath and prayer.

Year Four. Day 39.

Spent the evening in downtown Nashville. Yummy food & good live music!!

Year Four. Day 38.

Our new prayer board in the youth lounge. 

Year Four. Day 25.

Thankful for the 3 hours outside before the rain started... Still beautiful.

Year Four. Day 24.

Enjoying the cooler weather at the end of the day...

Year Four. Day 22.

"Earthly"

Trail of Tears...

Year Four. Day 16.

"Darkness"

Love running early enough that I get to see the sun come up...

Year Four. Day 15.

"Laugh"

I think it's pretty funny that I tried to figure out all the wires for my computer...

Year Four. Day 13.

"Light"

Friends, family and lots of laughter...very thankful. 

Punching holes into the Darkness

Let's be honest.  

Sometimes life is just overwhelming. With certain situations I ask with hesitation,  "Is it possible darkness won this time??". 

I don't feel like I have solutions or resources or prayers or words to offer... 

Is there enough light???  Will the darkness overcome everything else? 

Almost a year ago, in a church staff day retreat I heard the following statement - "Punch holes into the darkness so light can shine thru...".  

What?!  I scribbled it quickly in the margin. 

I honestly don't really remember anything else we talked about that day. 

I was so taken with the charge and freedom of this action.  What a beautiful way to empower the body of Christ. 

I love that the light was not overcome by the darkness as it says in John 1:5,  "The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not overcome it".

But I forget that I get to step in and join the process.

I am empowered.

I get to punch holes into the darkness so the light can shine through.  SHINE THROUGH!!!!  The light is still here.  Even if we can't see it.  Even when we can't see it.

I don't have to wait for someone else to reveal the light to me.  I get to take action.

I spent quite a bit of time this past week thinking about all the ways that I get to punch holes in the darkness:

Prayer (What a beautiful, powerful and life giving gift we've been given through this action)

Phone calls and leaving messages

Messages over text, email, twitter, instagram and facebook or whatever it needs to be

Reaching out to someone that others have given up on
Offer grace instead of judgement - to others AND myself

Empowering teenagers to find their gifts and strengths

Helping teenagers take the risk to use their gifts and strengths

Noticing others and making a point to affirm them

Challenging myself and others to see each other the way God sees us. Again and again.

Asking others to share how I could stand with them.  And then actually doing it.

Education

Collecting money or items for people who can't do for themselves.(Josephs Storehouse)

Supporting ministries (Open Table, Nashville) that stand in the gap for the less fortunate

Celebrating victories with my friends who are taking risks for the kingdom. Too many to list but currently pretty proud of my beautiful friend, Mary Ann

World Vision's 30 Hour Famine or SIFAT's "48"

Sponsorship of a beautiful child named Emily in Zimbabwe.

Experiencing life at an orphanage in Haiti (like Sur La Roche)or Nigeria or any where and sharing their story

Telling or retelling stories

Getting to be a part of changing the culture of a youth ministry or a church

Being a real friend

Running a marathon every year to raise money for the National MS Society in my sister's honor

This list could go on and on...

I also give HUGE thanks for the times that others have punched holes into my darkness.

I still feel sadness in certain situations when I just don't understand why... I know I don't know the entire story.  I don't know what God knows.

Today I am remembering Lee and his family and I will tell his story. I don't know all of it.

But I do know that it isn't over.  His story will help me punch another hole and let the light shine through.

*** 

I was wondering where the line "Punching holes into the Darkness" originally came from.  According to the internet -  Robert Louis Stevenson grew up in Scotland on a hillside.  And one night he was watching the lamplighters who would climb a ladder and light the torches on the street lights... his parents or his nanny asked him what he was looking at and he said, "Look at that man!  He's punching holes in the darkness!".

Year Four. Day 12.

"Hope"

Frozen grapes, frozen watermelon, spinach & 1/2 scoop of protein powder. So green! Was hoping it'd be good! It's my favorite so far!

Year Four. Day 11.

"Why"

Wilson County Fair - why not??

Year Four. Day 7.

"Travel"

Bootcamp agility training... Running through the ladder!

Year Four. Day 6.

"Dream"

It's August and I'm keeping the bedroom door to the balcony open! Am I dreaming??

Year Four. Day 5.

"Strong"

I can't wait to explore this book with my youth!!

Year 4: Day 1

"Simple"

The sweetest kind...

Savorings...401-450

401. Slip-n-Slide

402. Seeing deer on my run at Long Hunter State Park

403. New experiences with my youth

404. The youth and adults willing to try PULSE at a new location

405. Watching youth softball games

406. Meeting Emily & Becky on a 4- mile run

407. A running groups acceptance & care for individuals

408. Sandi's gift to REI - and my hammock!!

409. Getting to stand alongside Bev & Scott on their sweet day

410. Rain clouds that pass just in time for their picnic & ceremony

411. Lunch with Clint at Prince's Hot Chicken

412. The Wonder Women & their flexibility & willingness to serve as needed

413. Moving my furniture from Pensacola to Lebanon.

414. After my wallet was stolen - Susie's clarity about my drivers license 

415. Having everything I needed to replace my license in a couple hours

416. American Express overnighting a new card to me.

417. Susie helping me pay for my moving truck

418. Friends who I can just be with even when I'm hurting

419. Movies with Lisa & Tim

420. Watching Gene back the truck into his backyard

421. All of the youth & friends who came at the last minute to help me load up

422. Testosterones song at Sandie & Joe's wedding.

423. Sharing stories after the wedding

424. Susie's food that I get for my drive back

425.  Driving with the windows down in a 24 foot diesel truck because the air went out...but the air was cool enough that I actually enjoyed it

426. The youth and friends who helped me unload my furniture into storage in Lebanon

427. Free storage from a stranger

428. Breakfast at the pancake pantry with Karla, Helen, Lauren & Paige

429. Following the Pensacola FUMC youth & adults on their choir tour

430. My friend who let me stay at her house for sabbath when my home wasn't

431. Realizing that Lorene may not make it & then hearing that she might get new lungs

432. Staying up late on June 20 to wait for the results of Lorene's double lung transplant 

433. The relief & joy I felt (& still feel) when Steve let us know she came through surgery well

434. Reconnecting with high school friends because of sharing in Lorene's story

435. Celebrating her recovery processs

436.  Running on the greenway from Kohls

437. Teaching youth to put tents up

438. Camping in a state park for the week

439. Eating spaghetti in the rain win my youth after our first day doing home repair

440. Watching my youth take risk and succeed

441. Closing worship - speaking a kindness to the person on our right

442. Watching the fog lift during morning devotion at Devil's Pass, Big South Fork National Park

443. Getting to know our home owners

444. Watching every one of the youth & adults climb the tower

445. Getting to each one of these youth better

446. The loud, loud bird that kept every one up at night

447. The bear frog

448. Taking Annie to the ER and her bloodwork was ok

449. Learning how to back-up a trailer

450. Jake's humor and ability to speak truth

Prayer is sitting in the silence until it silences us, choosing gratitude until we are grateful, and praising God until we ourselves are an act of praise. –Richard Rohr.

This beautiful child is full of life!!  Spring 2013

Savorings...351-400

351. The feel of an actual book

352. A drink outside with a new friend

353. Partnering with new people in ministry

354. Uncertainty and eagerness of middle schoolers

355. When a teenager checks on her mom through text

356. So many people stopping me to make sure I know that they are glad that I am here

357. Parent meeting

358. Questions that invite teenagers to tell some of their story

359. Parents wanting to get involved in a new way with the youth meeting

360. Seeing parents experience hope

361. Homemade Ginger and lemon cookies - yum

362. Telling Pam that the teenagers like having her around & they want her to help more

363. The look on her face after I told her

364. That the Winfrees came to serve at Joseph's Storehouse on Saturday

365. Sunday afternoon naps

366. Fresh smell of clean laundry warming in the sun

367. Texts from Michelle, Shari and Gregg - checking on the parent meeting

368. Mom's hard recipes that taste so good

369. Family on Memorial Day

370. Warm blankets to curl up under

371. Cheering on runners with strangers

372. Watching my sister with her daughter

373. Hugs that fit just right

374. Friends who drive me back & forth to the airport

375. Birthday cards from youth and parents

376. Lulu lemon gift card

377. Grandpa's birthday bonds for the majority of my life

378. Hand written cards

379. Setting a personal record of 27:45 at the Memorial 5k!!! 

380. My dad taking care of my mom

381. Mom trying to help in the kitchen even though she's in a wheelchair for now.

382. Laughter with mom & dad in the kitchen

383. The way Grace's smile happens so quickly 

384. Holding Grace and breathing her in

385. When she nuzzles into my neck

386. Telling my aunt that I'm proud of her - 

387. That she's taking a risk by making some hard life decisions

388. Dad taking me to Rita's ice tonight

389. Spending the day with Grace and my mom

390. I love watching Grace see things

391. Birthday dinner of steak and crab legs

392. Grandpa brought Wendy's salads over for lunch cause that's his new routine with mom

393. Singing old Raffi songs with mom & Grace

394. All the birthday wishes from so many people that I've known over my life through calls, texts and facebook

395. Kissing my mom on the head

396. Homemade steak sauce

397. Talking to Sandi about Blue Like Jazz today

398. My mom's pantry always stocked for anything

399.  Mom's voice

400. Falling asleep as dad plays his classical guitar

"All we have to decide is what to do with the time that's given us." ~ JR Tolkien

Centennial Trail, South Dakota 2005

Savorings... 301-350

301. Meeting up with the Schmidts at the concert

302. Sleeping in

303. Travel with no agenda 

304. Time to tell stories and eat good food

305. New bathroom stuff from IKEA

306. That the bathroom stuff makes my space feel a little more like home

307. Trip Advisor app and finding amazing restaurants

308. Yummy, yummy, yummy pizza

309. Free birthday Rita's Ice in Atlanta 

310. Finding a new friend &prayer partner in a youth ministry parent

311. New confirmands and that I  got to give them their Bibles

312. Invited into people's lives, stories and secrets

313. Lunch with Mandy and Aiden

314. Graduation dinner traditions

315. Painting as an activity for the graduates

316. Watching them choose a word to represent their story with the cross painting

317. Having an extra one - so I could paint as well

318. That my painting isn't a failure

319. Choosing "risk" as my word

320. Monday morning boot camp with a new leader

321. Leaving work early to meet a friend for dinner in Nashville

322. Catching up with Laura Paulk

323. Strawberries on sushi

324. Weather that continues to be gorgeous

325. Sitting outside for dinner

326. Having time to sit with Ingrid on her porch for a couple hours that night

327. The staff singing happy birthday to me

328. Pizza birthday lunch

329. Watching hail come down and being dry and safe inside

330. Dinner with the Wildes

331. Telling hiking stories 

332. Meeting with the youth council

333. 7 mile run from my apartment to Don Fox Park

334. Parents who sacrifice over and over again for this youth ministry

335. Being able to say thank you

336. Writing notes to the 7th graders

337. Finding my rhythm with plans for summer activities

338. Dinner with the Cowells

339. The gift of free range eggs 

340. Plans for a parents meeting

341. Intentionality

342. The ache after leg day

343. A drive down back roads at sunset

344. The smell of honeysuckle

345. Loneliness... But in a good way

346. Working with 100 other people to make a difference in Wilson county

347. Praying with strangers

348. Gods word creating clarity

349. Teaching moments with teenagers

350. An email of encouragement from Marko

"We see God face to face every hour, and know the savor of Nature." ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson