...a more reckless Trust

O God, I seek you , but my heart is fickle.
I believe; please help my unbelief.
When all I can do is want to want You,
take my crumb of faith and break it like bread to feed thousands,
beginning, by Your mercy, with me.
You reject no desperate, sinful seeking child.
You say only and always, Come!
I come to You, God.
Pour out Your Spirit on me.
Speak Your words of life to this child.
I pray in Jesus' name, amen.

Prayer from Manning's 19 Mercies: A Spiritual Retreat

"When all I can do is want to want You."

I do believe that there is a Holy Spirit in my life that prompts me, guides me, speaks for me, intercedes for me, speaks through me...

But I spend a lot of my time trying to make sense of God. Jesus. The Holy spirit. And when I try to make them make sense - I forget...the mystery.

Which eventually brings back to only being able to want to want Christ in my life.

Why is it that we as humans have to explain and understand things.

The funny thing is that the more we think we understand...just reveals more that we don't.

I want to be a child that yearns for the Spirit to pour down on me. Every single moment. That I don't miss what God is doing...