To be honest - today was a hard day.
I love solo travel because it forces me to spend time by myself - which ultimately means I spend a lot of time in silence - I pray a lot and deal with junk that I need to deal with. It's hard and so good.
It also takes me about three or four days to get to the place where I'm able to listen to myself. Sooo... Yesterday was the day. I cried, wrote, asked hard questions, laughed and let some things go.
I woke up today ready to be all clear. Ready for whatever is next.
Except I didn't enjoy what was next. For some reason the large amounts of snow made me feel trapped. I did NOT like driving on not yet cleared roads in my small rental car. Around 2:00 pm - I found myself sitting in my car outside of Barnes and Noble - trying to decide if I wanted to drive the last few miles to downtown to go to the Anchorage Museum. And. I. Lost. It. I felt the loneliest that I've felt in a long time. I was ready to come home. Pensacola actually. Even looked at moving my flight up a day. Done with the dealing with the hard stuff.
I probably sat in my car for over an hour but eventually after chatting with some good friends I finally felt better. I did decide to go to the museum. I made it there without crashing the car and really enjoyed all the exhibits.
And then. The snow stopped and and the sun came out. I drove to a park and watched the beautiful sunset. When I got back to the hostel I immediately went to one of the community rooms that I hadn't been to yet. Decided to meet some new people! And for the past 3 1/2 hours I have been discussing faith, spirituality and religion with three guys. Two of the them are atheists and the other one says he grew up Methodist. It has been an incredible conversation. They wanted to know what a youth minister actually does. And then the questions began...
It's crazy how you don't think you will make it through the hard, dark times. But I always do. I did. And as cliche as it might sound - I found light again through a sunset and an honest, open conversation.