sometimes life sucks

Yeah, and I lose control...I lose control of what I eat and what I think and how I interact with others...
I haven't lost complete control but I want to. :)
Oh well - the best part of life is that we truly live. That we live and we struggle and we love and maybe we will be loved in return. Nothing is guaranteed but I want to engage in the pain and the fun and the hope and faith...
So I am struggling right now but I am alive and I am actually about to go hiking in South Dakota with my sister and her husband for the next ten days...which will be amazing.
I work in a church - and I keep changing every day...I know that I am loved but so many people don't know that and honestly it seems like they don't care either. How is it that most of the people I know are so insecure and don't know who they are that they live in fear and engage with others out of fear? I mean...I have a friend that was planning on coming down to Florida in a couple of weeks - but I haven't heard from her and so I called and asked that she call me to let me know if she was still coming before I leave tomorrow - have I heard from her? Nope. And I don't know why...I mean...she can come or not come but I would like to know before I leave town for 10 days. Just to plan on where everyone is going to sleep!
Wow, I am babbling...it's nice to have a place that noone really knows me or really even reads this but I can just put all of my random thoughts down.
Lord, please watch over me, Julia and Paul - keep us safe as we hike and help us see everything that you want us to experience. And help me.