Life

I had lunch with one of my senior girls today and we talked about life and choices and how it is exciting and scary all at the same time. She mentioned that she looks at life like riding on a rollercoaster and it's the part where you are about to go over the top of the big hill and you are scared but excited and you want off but you want to ride and as soon as it is all over you want to ride the ride again. I agree. I am so thankful for my life...but it doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me. I don't really know why I am here or what I am doing or even if I am doing it well...but I am in for the ride. Hanging on to the Hand that has never let go of mine...
Sometimes I want what it looks like everyone else has - the house, dog, partner, 2.5 kids and a 2 week family vacation in the summer. But I don't fit that well. I do love the house: I would like to buy one again - to have my own space that I can create to be whatever I want it to be or do nothing...have people over or shut the blinds and stay in bed...
I don't need a dog...never have had one...I might...you never know. There are two dogs in the house that I am living in now...they like a lot of attention - and they make me laugh - but sometimes they stink! Hahahahaha...I make me laugh.
A partner...a man to walk through life with. Yeah, I want that...but I will need someone who is super unique...I know I can love well and I want to be loved well in return. Otherwise, I just want to live - share - travel - and try new things...I actually have always wanted a man who had a stronger faith than I do - and the older I get the more possible that becomes. I don't know if that means that I am losing my faith...or that I am realizing that I don't have as much as I thought I did to begin with...
Kids - yep, how amazing is it that I was created to give life. That is overwhelming. And would I? I think I would even though - I am not sure why I am here. Children...the way they look at life...it is so incredible. Huge amounts of faith, love to explore, tell stories...man I could go on.
2 week vacation - yeah - that would be nice - cause you know I love to travel and explore!!!

But I want more than all of this. I want a community of people that challenge me daily. That don't let me just settle but let me be boring if I need to be for a day or so. Is it possible to find a man that will walk with me but also multiple men and women to walk with too? Not in a swap partners sort of way but in a bohemian, gypsy, live life bigger than one person sort of way.
When I read Acts 1-4...I love how it describes the believers living in the same space and sharing everything they owned together...
Acts 4:32-34 "Now the whole group of those who believed were of one heart and soul, and no one claimed private ownership of any possessions, but everything they owned was held in common. With great power the apostles gave their testimony to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and great grace was upon them all. There was not a needy person among them, for as many as owned lands or houses sold them and brought the proceeds of what was sold. "