Collide...

To a gentleman who made a difference in my life.

2011-12-17T10:46:00.000-05:00

You would stop me every Sunday and touch my shoulder...made me look at you while you said, "Do you know how loved and appreciated you are?".

Thank you. I don't know if I ever expressed how much those words mean to me.

Thank you for noticing. Thank you for stopping me and sharing. Thank you for being the kind of person who encourages and builds up so many.

Thank you for being Jesus to me.

We will miss you George Olliff.

Will you help me fight Multiple Sclerosis???

2011-08-11T16:53:00.000-04:00

It's that time again. I am in the middle of training to run the Akron Roadrunner Marathon on September 24th!!! And I am running this marathon to raise money and awareness for the National MS Society, the Ohio Buckeye Chapter. I was so honored to be supported last year by so many of you - we raised over $3000 which at the time was the largest amount for RUN MS!!!

Multiple sclerosis interrupts the flow of information between the brain and the body and stops people from moving. With the help of people like you, the National MS Society addresses the challenges of each person whose life is affected by MS and helps them stay connected to the great big moving world. I am writing to ask you to join the movement by kindly donating to this cause that is so dear to my heart.

Your help means so much to me and all of those who live with MS. It is because of fundraisers like these that my sister, Julia (who I'm running in celebration of) and the millions of others with this disease are able to lead a somewhat normal life. Please join me to end MS. Help the National Multiple Sclerosis Society’s ultimate mission of finding a cure possible, and, in the meantime, provide the crucial services to those living with multiple sclerosis.

Things are going to be a lot harder this year. The economy is at an all time low and many people are losing their jobs. These times are most likely negatively effecting you as well, which is why I understand if you cannot donate as much as you previously would have. Every little bit counts and adds towards our goal. I am asking you to visit my MS page at the following link:http://main.nationalmssociety.org/site/TR/Run/OHAGeneralEvents?px=5065216&pg=personal&fr_id=15931

I honestly didn't know if I was going to be able to run a marathon again this year. I really stopped enjoying running this past spring. I've run multiple 1/2 marathons and marathons over the past 6 years and trained for them in the Florida heat and I really wanted a break. But last week I decided that if my dad(who was diagnosed with Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia in 2006) can run a marathon every year and if my sister(who is living with Multiple Sclerosis, can run, bike, and tri multiple races this year)then I better get my happy tail out there and run!!!! And honestly, I am excited about it!!!

Here's to running 11 miles tomorrow in the Florida humidity and heat - and here's to the National MS Society finding a cure!

Please invite your friends to join! ANY DONATION, big or small, helps. Your support means more than you will ever know!

Hiking with my students...WT 2010

2010-08-08T19:56:00.001-04:00

I am always amazed when I come back from Wilderness Trail by how much joy everyone of our students has after hiking 45 plus miles through the mountains of Virginia. This trip is not a “fun” trip by any standards. It is a hard trip. But we all love it! At least when we get off the trails.
It’s an experience that in my opinion makes you realize how good you really do have it. You also realize that even if something is hard – that doesn’t make it bad and that you can still have fun.
I love watching the students come together in small groups as the body of Christ – they listen to each other, share food, wait for the slower hikers, encourage one another, try not to complain too much when it rains an entire day, push through even when the feet hurt, wonder how badly they actually do smell and attempt to figure it out, laugh as campfires are built, allow their feet to be washed by leaders and/or peers, see God all around them in mountains and meadows and at the end of their hike – they are changed. Shoot, I am changed.
I have hiked these same trails with different students for the past 6 summers – and I come away stronger, humbled and in awe of how our amazing Father works in our lives.
I am so thankful to our church for allowing our students to experience God in such a unique way!
And I am thankful that the students hunger for the stillness and beauty of God’s presence that you find while hiking in the mountains.

Tension. Hope. Contradiction. Light. Shadow.

2010-02-05T22:21:00.000-05:00

Whew. I tell you what. Life is sometimes more than I can handle.

The ride I am on is definitely calling me to more. More trust. More hope. More letting go.
Allowing God's light into my shadow life.

John 3:19-21 - The Message
"This is the crisis we're in: God-light streamed into the world, but men and women everywhere ran for the darkness. They went for the darkness because they were not really interested in pleasing God. Everyone who makes a practice of doing evil, addicted to denial and illusion, hates God-light and won't come near it, fearing a painful exposure. But anyone working and living in truth and reality welcomes God-light so the work can be seen for the God-work it is."

Parker Palmer talks about "living the contradictions"..."Here we refuse to flee from tension but allow that tension to occupy the center of our lives. And why would anyone walk this difficult path? Because by doing so we may receive one of the great gifts of the spiritual life---the transformation of contradiction into paradox...a larger truth than we had even dreamed."

Where we live in the great dramas of life - the place where God and the world interact. Living a life with God only points out the contradictions...the contrast of the truth of the spirit and the lies of our lives. The Spirit wholeness and the brokenness of our lives.

It seems to me that most people don't sit well living in the contradiction. We either have such a HARD time with the contradiction that we walk away from God's love and light...or we try so hard to live as far away from the world and to stay "pure".

So I am attempting to live in the contradiction. The light and the darkness. The risk and the hope. There are many things in my life that I would have NEVER expected even 5 years ago.

I drove to Dairy Queen on Scenic Highway on Tuesday at 6:10 a.m. this past week. The sky was changing and I had to see it over the water. The contrast of the dark sky with the beauty of the coral/yellow light piercing through... I am so thankful for that time that I had with God.

Lamentations 3:22-23 - The Message

God's loyal love couldn't have run out,
   his merciful love couldn't have dried up.
They're created new every morning.
   How great your faithfulness!
I'm sticking with God (I say it over and over).
   He's all I've got left.

Merry Christmas Letter

2009-12-23T18:39:00.000-05:00

Hi to all -
I decided to actually write a letter this year...so I am going to write it on here. For whatever reason I do not feel compelled to send any cards or letters out this season but I do want to connect with friends and family in some way...so I guess this is where it will happen.

2009 has definitely left a mark on my life. I would say this has been one of the hardest years that I have experienced. I don't know if it is because I turned 33(which some people have said was a hard year for them as well - possibly because it's the year Jesus was crucified?) or just because sometimes life is hard. When I say hard - I don't mean that hard is always bad. Just hard.

I am still serving at the Director of Youth Ministries at FUMC in downtown Pensacola, FL. I have been here for 5 years and still absolutely love what I do. I get to walk with 7th-12th grade students as they figure out what they believe and who they are in the Body of Christ. I also get to pray, cry, laugh, serve, ask questions, travel, explore, hike on the A.T. every summer, sing, get messy, tell stories and so much more with all of them. It is truly an honor when I see each one of them really work hard to hear God's voice and respond in their own unique way.

In April, I had the opportunity to take 7 students along with two dad's (supposed to be three dad's but one wasn't able to go at the last minute) to Ihiala, Nigeria to help dig a clean water well in a village that didn't have access to clean water. After 6 months of raising money and awareness - we boarded a plane that took us to Nigeria. It was an honor to watch the students from my church adapt to the heat, the attention, and the overwhelming need that surrounded us every where we went that week. They played with children in the village and at an orphanage. We were invited to lead songs for 4 hour long worship services. We attempted to help with the well. But most of the time...we waited and shared and talked and watched and prayed and learned and laughed...and cried. I don't know if any of us will ever experience the kind of attention that we received that week and I know that none of us left that country the same. It is an amazing and frustrating experience to know that there isn't much we can do for the people in that area...but we offered our time and our lives. Here is a link to a video that one of the students created when we got back.

I also was given permission to take a month off to hike this year. So on October 3rd - I flew to Sydney, AUS with one of my dear friends and explored the eastern coast of Australia for two weeks with her and then hiked around different parts of New Zealand by myself. It was one of the most incredible experiences I have had in my life - the people that I met were amazing AND I got to hike across glaciers and volcanoes and near fjords. Seriously. It was incredible.

But the best part of the trip - was the time I had to be still. I am learning that I need to give myself time to be still so that I can hear God voice through all of the chaos that echoes around me most days. My favorite day was in New Zealand - I was sitting on the side of the road looking at beautiful NZ scenery and listening to a Derek Webb album. I cried. I prayed. I wrote. I listened. I was able to just feel like I wasn't alone and that I was particularly loved. At this point - all I know is that I long to be a willing participant in the story that God continues to tell through my life.

I get to see some of you every week. I miss many of you. But no matter what I am thankful because each one of you is in my life.

Blessings and prayers to all of you as we enter into 2010 together!

Emily

Advent. Waiting. Hope.

2009-12-12T14:37:00.001-05:00

One thing about life that I love AND struggle with is waiting.

Not knowing what is coming. Just as soon as I decide I know how something is going to turn out...it changes. Right?

Advent is a time of waiting.

I remember one time when I was about 6 years old while laying in bed in my grandma's home, I could smell the stale smell of being in a room that isn't used much any more blended with pine, soap and pecan pie. I was listening and trying so hard to keep my eyes open as I stared out the window. I just KNEW that I was going to see Santa and his sleigh that night. I just knew it. So...I actually heard bells ring that night and am pretty sure that I saw the bottom of the sleigh pass by the window. I was soooo excited that night! I mean, I heard and saw Santa! I still remember feeling like I was the luckiest girl alive that night...

Waiting for our King to be born. Waiting for Christmas morning. Waiting for people to really get it.

I spend a lot of time hoping. Hoping that my students will see how amazing it is to follow a God that wants to know each one of us individually. That as we struggle through life - we are not alone!

Do we still wait for God to move in our lives? Or have we given up on him and are just going to do it our way? Are we trying so hard to keep our eyes open to be the ones to catch Him in action as He steps out of heaven as a baby or a friend or a stranger...to bring hope into our lives?

What are you really waiting for?

My prayer is that we really do wait. With Expectation. Start listening. Looking out your windows. Watch.

Action Sports International - www.asiorders.com

2009-12-12T12:08:00.000-05:00

Action Sports International - www.asiorders.com

Rain.

2009-10-26T03:51:00.001-04:00

Monday, October 26th

I woke up to the sound of pouring rain this morning. Packed up my
stuff and hit the road in the rain...

Really it was pretty boring.

I stopped in Dunedin for lunch- today is New Zealand's Labour Day,
which means that most restaurants and stores are closed today. But
luckily Dunedin has the University of Otara so they had lots of stores
and some restaurants open. I had the best sushi and udon soup...then
I walked around to see what was in their "mall". Surprised to see an
Athlete's Foot- ha.

I am staying at the "red kettle" THA in Oamaru on the East coast.
This town has two diferent Penguin colonies that live on their
beaches. And you see stuff about penguins everywhere on the streets.
I went to the beach at 4:30 pm to watch the Yellowed-eyed penguins
come onto the beach. There are about 40 penguins who live here.
These are only found in New Zealand. So I stood outside in the rain
and wind and was so cold. I got to see one penguin...it was so cute!
I was pretty cold at this point so decided to come back to the
hostel. I also stopped by a cheese cafe... So I have local cheese, a
baguette and soup for dinner.

Have a short drive to Christchurch in the morning, then my afternoon
flight to the North Island.

Cheeky Kia...

2009-10-26T02:52:00.000-04:00

Sunday, October 25th

I did get my tent a bit tighter- so I had no problems with the light
rainfall that started early this morning. But it's pretty cold and
wet outside...

I am dressed to hike but since the rain is falling steadily I passed
the Divide where I was planning on hiking on the Routeburn Track- and
came on down to Milford Sound.

Wow. It's a little spooky to drive through these humongous mountains
and gorges with fog and rain. I am the only one on the road this
early- which I am thankful to be able to take my time to take it all in.

Raw. Vast. Stark.

Mountain walls still covered with snow. Trees are clinging to the
mountains. The valleys of green with wisps of fog moving across.
Rivers so high the water is moving over the rocks quickly...

And then a tunnel. Into a massive stone wall. Um. I can't see the
other end...and it starting to move deeper into the mountain. I
definitely don't like going down in a dark tunnel without seeing the
other side.

At Milford Sound- I spent some time talking to two gentlemen from
Norway. They are going to take the cruise through the Sound in an
hour. I had a coffee and than walked all over the walking trails and
out onto one if the shores... The rain let up enough for a little over
an hour.

But now the rain and the thick fog is back. So I am going to head
back toward Te Anau.

10:00 pm -

So I managed to get it all in. The started and stopped the rest of
the day...I stopped by a few view poinyts on the road back to Te Anau.

My absolutely favorite thing to see was the Chasm. It's where a river
has worn down these huge rocks in a way so the rocks look like Swiss
cheese. It makes a roaring sound as the water passes through the
rocks- I took pictures but I don't think it shows it well.

Then I started my hike on the Routeburn Track. It was sunny(sort of)
when I started but it was pretty rainy, foggy and windy when I got to
the summit of Mt Key. It was a fun hike though- and on my way down, I
actually passed the hiking group that I considered joining for 4 days.

Then I drove to the hostel and showered...and got take out Chinese- mmm.

Ive met a girl from Denmark, Heidi. She is a trip! I went on a walk
after dinner with Ying, a girl I met at the last hostel. She was fun
to talk about all the places we've been and where we want to go.

I start my slow trip home tomorrow. Will drive towards Christchurch
to return the car and catch my flight to Auckland on Tuesday.

Blessings.

Be still and know...

2009-10-25T00:30:00.000-04:00

Saturday evening, October 24th

I found a place to camp. I am at the closest campsite off of the
Milford Hwy to the Divide - which is where I am hiking tomorrow. I am
sitting on the edge of Lake Gunn(picture to come), watching the sun go
down over the mountains. Hmmmm...if I do get married than i think it
should be right here instead of Blue Lake. He.

It's funny to be out here on my own. There are about 6 campervans of
couples/friend and families and they are all doing there own thing-
and then there's me. In a tent. In the woods.

So I have to confess. 2 things.
1. I am addicted to anything with sugar- have been since I was
young. My confession is actually that today I found an entire cake of
Pavlova(the gooey, crunchy and soft meringue that I can't get enough
of) - and that's pretty much all I've had for dinner. It's soooo
good! I didn't eat it all by the way- I can get two more meals out of
it. Haha.

2. And, so my tent isnt as tight as it normally is. I might have
brought the wrong tent poles...but they do fit. Sort of. And I think
it will rain tonight! I have got to backpack more often withy my gear
so I grab the right things! That's what I get for seamsealing more
than one tent before a trip. I will play with it and see if I can
tighten it up.

Anyways, today has been an alone day. My own thoughts, feelings,
hopes...

It has been good to be still and feel Gods love. I love it when I
drive out of a section of trees and look up and the sun is peaking
over the tops of snow covered mountains. Or there was a large lamb
resting beside a light pole... Just watching the traffic go by- or so
it seemed. Those moments make me smile.

Fiords. Fiords. Fiords.

2009-10-24T00:17:00.000-04:00

Saturday, October 24th

When I got up this morning I wasn't sure if I would spend the day
driving or do a short hole somewhere on my way towards Queenstown.
Queenstown is known to be the city for adrenaline junkies. You can do
so many crazy outdoor activities.

Once I got on the road though - I felt like driving. So I did. It
has been a gorgeous day. And except for a stop in one of the bungy
jumping sites...just to watch others- I completely drove right by
Queenstown.

I really wanted to get to the southern area with the fiordlands.

So I am currently in Te Anau- I booked a room at the YHA for tomorrow
night and I am going to start driving up towards Milford Sound. I
will camp at one of the Department of Conservation (DOC) campsites and
then do a dayhije onto the Routeburn Trail. I talked to the people at
the DOC info and that is what they recommend that I do for a short
visit. So I will hike on one of New Zealands great walks AND see
fiords. AND I am actually going to use my tent- since I brought it
all this way with me.

The drive up to Milford Sound is supposed to be amazing... So here I go!

Blessings.

Is there a puma in that crevice?

2009-10-23T14:51:00.000-04:00

So...I woke up this morning a little early - I didn't want to be late for my hike on the Franz Josef Glacier...(I got there at 7:35 a.m. - didn't have to be there till 8:15 a.m.- hee).

I decided to wear shorts because I know me. I get warm when I hike...I had four layers for my top half - so I knew I would be okay. They gave me another rain jacket(which I used to sit on during our lunch break) and heavy rain pants(that stayed in my back pack.

This glacier is one of three around the world - that exists near a rain forest. The second one is the Fox Glacier about 12 miles South from here and the third one is in the Patagonia. Amazing.

I was in a group of 10 including our guide. We had to hike for about 2 kilometers and then put our crampons on and hike another 1 1/2 kilo's on loose rock and ice before we were only on ice. The group I was with was a lot of fun...willing to try things but many of them had never really hiked at all before.

I LOVED IT! It was like a giant jungle gym in ice. You all would have been so proud of the climbs and jumps and things I had to get through. I sliced my leg at one point - when I had to jump over a crevice and tried to take our guide down - he was helping me. Whoops.

By the way - there are no puma's in these crevices.

Exhilerating...I love that I hiked for the entire day and could have just kept going. I love that I have this experience.

I also met two different guys to speak German with - one from Germany and one from Switzerland. Thomas is from Switzerland - told me he was trying to do all the things here that he couldn't do back home. Like he won't be bungy jumping(which is HUGE in New Zealand) because he could do that back in Switzerland. Interesting point. It was fun talking with them.

I came back to the hostel and showered. Spent about an hour just to get that one picture up on Facebook - but notice I figured out how to get them off of my phone! I only have my phone to use for pictures on this trip - I currently don't have a camera...so I've been planning on using a disposable camera but the phone takes fantastic pictures! I can't wait to put them all on here.

Then I went down to a restaurant and sat by myself at a table in the corner where I could watch all the other people. I enjoyed a pizza and they have pavlova for dessert(mmmmm...).

I still don't know what I am going to do the last 4 days in New Zealand, probably spend too much time driving. But I think I am going to head a bit further south to see what I can.

Will let you know tomorrow!

Hey - I will be back in Pensacola in a week!

Slowing down...

2009-10-21T22:27:00.000-04:00

I got to the south island yesterday with a basic idea of what I hoped
to see and hike over the next 7 days. I even left Arthur's Pass this
morning ready to drive long today...

But I know that I really don't want to that. As much as I would like
to see the fiordlands or thruhike one of New Zealands great walks or
see the glaciers or... The list could go on.

I stopped at 2:00 pm this afternoon in the village where the Franz
Koseph Glacier is. I have never hiked on a glacier before - so that
is what I am going to do. They will outfit me for a full day hike on
and through the glaciers tomorrow... I am flipping stoked.

Staying a couple nights in the Franz Josef YHA- 5 girls sharing one
room. Haven't met them yet.

So after i organized all that i drove over to the Fox Glacier Village
for an amazing late lunch- lamb burger with home made French fries(I
have eaten peanut butter and jam for my last three meals). Yum.

I'm about to hike around Lake Matheson which should take around an 1
1/2 hours. It's sunny where I am but there are clouds over both Mt
Cook and Mt Tasman...so I don't know what kind of views I will have.

I will head a little further south on Saturday for a two day hike near
Mt Aspiring and then I am heading back to Christchurch. No great
walks or fiordlands this time.

New Zealand - South Island

2009-10-21T03:54:00.001-04:00

Wednesday, October 21st

I am in the larger and supposedly even more remarkable south island of
New Zealand. I so enjoyed the North Island that I can't imagine how
it can be better. But everyone has said that to me.

So I woke up before my alarm and packed my bags in the hallway so I
wouldn't wake my dorm mates. My car was where I left it last night so
I repacked my backpack (I left it in the trunk and had to still put my
hiking poles & sleeping bag in).

I gave myself 45 minutes to get out of the city of Auckland and to the
airport. I promptly got lost. I seem to have trouble with bus lanes
(you can't drive in them but that was the lane I needed to go
straight!). Then there was construction...so I pulled over and figured
out where I was and made my way to the airport. I made it but only
after not refilling my petrol and having to walk from the rental cars
at the International terminal to the domestic terminal AND looking for
Virgin Blue Airlines that in the domestic terminal is called Pacific
Blue. Ha ha. I made it.

We landed in Christchurch which is on the East coast - I picked up the
3rd (and oldest) car on this trip and promptly headed west. Um, I
passed a field of hogs and heaps and heaps of little hog houses! Weird.

All of sudden I could see snow covered mountains. They appear so
suddenly! I drove for the next 3 hours through gorgeous valleys,
mountains, rocks and by some lakes. I am staying in Arthurs Pass YHA
which is right in the middle of the mountains. As soon as I entered
Arthur's Pass the rain started...

I am pretty sure I will continue west tomorrow morning because it is
supposed to continue to rain/ snow most of tomorrow in this area. I
have a general plan for the next week but don't really know what I
going to do. I am hoping to hike on some glaciers and in the
fiordlands.

I spent time today thinking/praying about my identity as a child of
the King...but I haven't got the words to explain it at the moment.
Cept to encourage any of you to remember that is who you ARE- not what
you do or what others think of you. We get so easily bogged down by
things that don't really matter. Or...I have lately.

"Quite Choice"

2009-10-21T03:45:00.000-04:00

Tuesday, October 20th

When I woke up this morning my legs were pretty tight but not sore
from the hike yesterday...oh, but my face is sun burned a bit. Packed
up & ate my amazing Quaker Instant Oatmeal so I could hit the road.
Before I left, I talked with Rolf & Lisa from Dresden, Germany. We
had another great conversation in mixed German/English...I am getting
better at remembering my German!

I decided to drive over to the largest volcano on the coast- by way of
the Fogotten World Highway. Wow. My pics don't even do this highway
justice. It was breathtaking. I even passed through the Republic of
Whangamomona... They separated from New Zealand back in 1989 because
they didn't like decisions that were being made for them. I didn't
get my passport stamped but I could have.

I enjoyed lunch at Sgt. Peppers cafe in the small town of Stratford.
Stratford has New Zealands only Glockenspiel and many things to honor
Shakespeare.

I drove thru East Egmont to the Plateau which is where I could have
taken a hike on Mt. Taranaki but it was so foggy and rainy that all I
did was get out of the car to take a picture of the sign.

From there I drove over to the coast to enjoy the black beaches on
the Tasman Sea. The weather cleared enough so I could see Mt. Egmont
(Taranaka).

Drove north back to Auckland- so I can get dinner and then find the
Auckland International YHA. Yummy teriyaki chicken noodle soup from a
small Japanese restaurant. This YHA is a big one - I was able to get
a room in a female 4 share...I did have trouble with parking. I
didn't know that you have to request a parking place when you book the
hostel...so I had to find a place on the street. I found one a couple
streets away- no worries, it's free till 8 am tomorrow and I will be
on my way by 7 to get to the airport.

Blessings.

Rich Young Ruler

2009-10-20T04:33:00.000-04:00

Tuesday, October 20th - thoughts of the day

I am sitting in my car pulled off - on the side of a mountain road looking a vast expanse...mountains, LOTS of green, clouds, sheep, trees...I can't even describe the detail of the grass and the way it has so much depth compared to the trees and the contrast to the blue sky!!! Sigh.

I am on the Forgotten World Highway(which I have since learned is a destination in itself - and I just happened upon it!) and I have pulled over 5 times in the last 45 minutes because the views are so exquisite. Seriously. It took me about 3 hours to drive someting that should have taken me half of that...it was amazing.

Anyways, on the side of the road with David Crowder and Derek Webb playing in the background and I have been praying and tearing up and just thinking about life.

It's hard to admit that I struggle. I used to always want to be seen as somebody who not only has it all together but I also enjoy everything I go through! But I am learing to be more honest with myself. I have been struggling lately with my purpose and where I believe God is calling me. If I could make any money - I think I want to sell my house and give the money away to someone who needs it more...but I don't think I would make any money. I know that going to Nigeria this past year shook my faith and what I feel I can actually make a difference with here on earth.

Being on my own these past few days - has allowed me to hear and to be broken as well as strengthened in my faith and what I believe Jesus calls his people to as His body. So what does that mean to my life? I have no idea except that I have to keep listening.

But man, it is easier for me to hear him when I am outside.

Derek Webb - "Rich Young Ruler"

poverty is so hard to see
when it’s only on your tv and twenty miles across town
where we’re all living so good
that we moved out of Jesus’ neighborhood
where he’s hungry and not feeling so good
from going through our trash
he says, more than just your cash and coin
i want your time, i want your voice
i want the things you just can’t give me

so what must we do
here in the west we want to follow you
we speak the language and we keep all the rules
even a few we made up
come on and follow me
but sell your house, sell your suv
sell your stocks, sell your security
and give it to the poor
what is this, hey what’s the deal
i don’t sleep around and i don’t steal
i want the things you just can’t give me

because what you do to the least of these
my brother’s, you have done it to me
because i want the things you just can’t give me

Tongariro Alpine Crossing

2009-10-19T00:54:00.000-04:00

Monday, October 19th

So it's a little harder to sleep on the top bunk in a room full with 8
girls who all have different sleeping habits.

I got up before 6 to get ready and eat breakfast - so I am ready to
sign up for the shuttle to and from the Tongariro Alpine Crossing. I
packed my day pack last night so that I could grab it and go. The
staff at the YHA kept asking if I had enough layers and rain
gear...and then they offered to let me borrow some crampns. If I used
them then I would pay for them, otherwise, I could just give them back
at the end of the day. Crampons? I haven't used crampons before.
There is section at the top of the climb that is snow covered and
since it's pretty cold these days...the crampns would help me walk
over that section.

I was able to catch a few pics of the sun rising over Mt. Ngauruhoe
(LOTR's Mt. Doom)which is still an active volcano. That's where my
hike will be around today along with two other multiple vented active
volcanoes - the latest of which erupted in 2007.

The hostel shuttles 4 of us out to the trailhead- myself, Claire from
Chicago, & Nick & Mike from California. The trek is about 20 k's-
which is close to 12 miles. It starts off pretty easily over some
small hills with the view of Mt. Ngauruhoe's single cone to the
right. I hiked ahead but would wait in a location with a view and
sunshine. The hardest part started after the 1st 5k...it was long and
up. And then we got to the section where we could have used our
crampons but the snow was soft enough that we didn't need them . But
it was still hard work! Pretty slippery and you could sink through
the crust of the snow anytime.

I went by the Emerald lakes and hot springs and the red crater... It
was amazing. You could feel the warmth from the volcano through the
ground and see steam constantly.

I also met an amazing couple from Germany...Uli & Jurgen Muth from a
town outside of Frankfort. Uli and I talked a mix of German/English
for a couple hours. She let me ask how to say things if I forgot...we
talked about faith, healing, chinese acupuncture and more. I hope to
keep in touch with them - we exchanged info so we will see! I love
that I can speak German and experiences like this remind me how much I
loved living in Germany.

The entire hike took us about 7 1/2 hours...I am currently riding back
in the shuttle back to the hostel. Next up: a big dinner.

Blessings.

New Zealand

2009-10-18T13:01:00.001-04:00

Sunday afternoon

Holy flip - this country is GORGEOUS! I have only Been here for 6
hours and I can't tell you how many times I gasped or just laughed out
loud because of the views.

I arrives in Auckland at 3:30 pm and had no trouble getting through
customs. Rented a car and drove 4 hours south to get to the National
Park Village YHA. I am getting a shuttle at 7 am out to the Tongariro
Alpine Crossing- which is supposed to be the best one day hike in New
Zealand! Whoohoo!

There are 6 other girls in the dorm with me and 3 of them are hiking
the crossing as well. The one I have talked to the most is Sarah- a
teacher in England. She has taken an entire year off to travel all
over. What a great story!

Alright- going to bed so I can the Crossing tomorrow!

Oh. I am now 18 hours ahead of Pensacola...I going to bed no at 10:15
pm and it is 4:15 am for most of you!

On my own...

2009-10-18T13:00:00.000-04:00

Sunday, October 18th

I woke up early this morning so that I could catch the train from
Pennant Hills to the international airport. Thank you Jason for
driving me to the station at 6:30 this morning!

I met the kindest Korean student and his guardian/grandmother on the
train- Andrew and Gam Si Li(spelling?). Andrew is in student in
Sydney to learn English, then he wants to become a dentist so he can
be a missionary. His parents are missionaries in China. So he grew
up in China with them..he speaks English, Korean and Mandarin. His
grandparents are pastors as well. He was so excited to learn that I
work in a church. He asked me so many questions about which
characters in the Bible were my favorite and things about travelling.
He would translate everything for his grandmother...we rode together
all the way to the airport.

I am flying to Auckland, New Zealand with Qantas airline but they are
connected with LAN airlines...so I am actually on a connecting flight
that is heading to Santiago. Everything on this plane is in
Spanish...exciting. I don't know what I was expecting - maybe that
travelling from Australia to New Zealand would be easy like from the
US to Canada...but it has been a little more complicated. It is so
fun!!

I am watching movie and eating some really good food. Next stop New
Zealand.

Day of rest and quiet...

2009-10-18T05:31:00.001-04:00

Saturday, October 17th

I did very little today. Read some, went on a walk by myself, booked
a rental car and a hostel, went on a walk to a park with Ava & Nate
(Jason & Amy's oldest two kids).

Amy & Jason had friends over for dinner...a couple with their sons &
nephews from church. I really enjoyed getting to know them and to be
able to join in the conversation.

Finished packing- I am taking my backpack filled with my tent, hiking
poles, sleeping pad, sleeping bag and my small amount of toiletries.
I also have a small suitcase with a more warm clothes than I
originally planned to take(thanks Amy!) and a bag of food and snacks
that I hope I can keep once I get to New Zealand.

On my walk this morning I spent a lot of time thinking & praying about
what it means to be human and to constantly long for more. We aren't
easily satisfied or content...and I so long to be content. It is a
humbling place to be- travelling for an entire month or hiking for 6
months...or all the other things I have seen and experienced and still
feel like I want more.

I pray for you.
I am praying for me too.

Back to Sydney...

2009-10-18T05:30:00.001-04:00

Friday, October 16th

We had a couple from Singapore in the dorm last night- Harry & Hera.
They were so sweet & very interesting. Candis and Hera really hit it
off- Candis called her a kindred spirit...they both prefer staying in
accomodations a little nicer than the hostels. But they are willing
to try! Harry & Hera are exploring the east coast of Australia for 2
weeks.

We left the hostel and it was COLD! Breakfast at a quaint cafe - I
had yummy crepes. After walking briskly down the main street we
started back to Sydney. I had an idea- that if we could stop by every
McDonalds on the way - than we could get little packets of peanut
butter and honey for my hiking next week. So we stopped at a few of
them...there are honestly too many McD's to stop at. Candis & AJ got
quite a few jams but we weren't able to get any p-nut butters. Oh
well, I will buy a jar to carry.

Back in Sydney, we headed to Darling Harbour to shop at Paddy's Market
again & drop AJ off at his hotel. He will explore Sydney for a couple
days then head back to Cairns before going home to Guam. We also
checked out the Maritime Museum- I only checked out the bottom floor
because I have to read everything. Again, I try so hard to retain
what I see and learn but it typically doesn't last so long.

After we dropped AJ off, Candis & I headed back to Amy & Jasons...
Repacked all our stuff and had dinner with the family. Candis heads
back to the States in the morning and I will fly to Auckland on the
North Island of New Zealand on Sunday morning. I sad that Candis has
to leave - we have seen a lot and met a lot of fun and interesting
people these past two weeks! Thanks for sharing this experience with
me!

Walkabout...

2009-10-17T00:23:00.000-04:00

I woke up earlier than the others again - so I got ready for our hike and then explored the Blue Mountains YHA. They offer supplies to make breakfast for a pretty cheap price - but I already have oatmeal with me so that's what I made.

We drove over to the very accessible visitor center at the Three Sisters and took some pics and then started down the 800 steps of the Giant Stairway to the valley floor and were completely surround by about 20 other people heading down and up. It was a little overwhelming...the people that is. The views were as well. WOW. I understand why there are so many people here. Once we got about a quarter of the way down though - most of the people were heading back up. We only passed about 6 others that went all the way down or around. It is such a beautiful area and the air is crisp and their are birds calling all around us. We watched the Katoomba waterfall for awhile and then continued down the trail over to the worlds steepest Scenic Railway. Which I would have loved to pass up BUT Candis and AJ made me ride it up. It wasn't actually too bad. I am glad that we rode it up and not down. It was crazy steep. No really...it was quick too. So it was like a rollercoaster ride but just up.

There were some gentlemen from Japan that wanted Candis and me to get into a picture with them...so we did and they were on the railway in front of us - laughing and taking lots of pics. It was fun to watch.

Then we grabbed lunch at a cafe at the top and decided to drive about 40 kilometers over to the Jenolan Caves. We got there right after 3:00 p.m. so we were only able to join the 4:00 p.m. tour of the Temple of Baal Cave. We got some drinks and waited...there were these beautiful birds - that you can tell get fed a lot by people because of how comfortable they were with us right there - that I played with and chased.

Then the caves. This particular cave was found in 1904 and it has two chambers...our guide told us that two of the first people to tour the cave were Methodist Ministers. Most of the names of each of the formations had some sort of biblical reference. It was gorgeous. Our guide, Barry, has lived in the area for the past 40 years and truly loves what he does. He asked if any of us sing when we were in the larger chamber and no one stepped up to sing. So after everyone started leaving to go back to the first chamber - I waited behind(I was pretty nervous for some reason) and sang the first few lines of "Think of Me" from Phantom. It is so cool to sing in that kind of space. Barry wanted me to sing again later - but I didn't. He was pretty funny -
Candis took a pic of us. She will be posting those in a couple of days.

From there we drove back to Katoomba and ate dinner at a Thai restaurant. Both Candis and I are craving Thai Beef salad...so we had hoped to have it there. But they didn't have it.

I spent most of the evening trying to work on details of my trip to New Zealand. It's crazy how different it is from what I originally thought it would be. I am planning on sticking with the YHA - Hostels in New Zealand. They keep an eye on you and have lots of good and cheap info about what to do in the area.

Heading back to Sydney tomorrow! AJ will hang around Sydney and Candis will be going back to Memphis on Saturday. And I will head to New Zealand! I am super excited! And a little nervous to be on my own. But I am ready to process and pray and walk and see.

...like a concord grape exploding...

2009-10-15T17:42:00.002-04:00

Wednesday, October 14th

So I woke up today super determined to have a better day than yesterday. Our goal today is to explore the Northern Hunter Valley Wine region. Lots of small but very nice vineyards. I guess I should point out that I am not a wine drinker- I don't like it. It's so...dry! It's kind of like olives- I will try them but I never like them. Ick.

But, I like to go to vineyards- try some, meet the people...so we are heading a little west before we continue south to find 3 of the vineyards on the route.

The first one had a gorgeous front lawn with a gentle hill right above a lake with ducks. Well, I just HAD to roll down the hill. So I did. Listen, if you want the whole story then ask me someyime...cause I haven't laughed so hard in long time. I was crying...so much fun!

We tried some wine and then drove to the next one...all in all I found one wine that I could drink. Eh. What was more interesting to me is that at 2 of the vineyards the people that served us the samples admitted to not really liking wine either when I told them I didn't!
Ha!

We got back on the road after an okay meal at a pub in Denman...and man, the closer we got to the Blue Mountains the more the scenery changed! We are on the mountains- I love it.

We drove on a road called Putty Road and after we passed the first "town" with not even one building on the road that we saw - Candis noticed that we were getting low on gas. So I told her how far away Putty wad and we hoped they would have gas/petrol. Um...so Putty had
a town hall that we drove 4k's to see. No petrol. Now we are sweating it. The mountains eat up our gas quicker than nothing else! Will we make it to Colo and will Colo have petrol? We drive for another 30 minutes and we see a sign for food coming up. We don't want food! But it does give us hope...we round a corner going into Colo and....they have Petrol! Thank goodness.

It takes another hour or so to get to Katoomba in the Blue Mountains. When we stepped out of the car - the temperature was much colder.

You should have seen Candis move! She ran from the car to the building and then when she came back to the car - she actually put her jeans on IN the car before going into the hostel!!! :)

We are staying for two nights at the Blue Mountain YHA- which is a fantastic hostel in a great location!

We bundled up and braved the cold and shrieking wind tonight to get our first glimpse of the Three Sisters. Amazing.

I can't wait to hike around in this area tomorrow!

Blech.

2009-10-15T08:30:00.001-04:00

Tuesday, October 13th

Woke up to a gorgeous day. We had the best brekkie at a place called Caffiends. Hot Ginger Drink & veggie omelet with sour dough toast. Yum!

Then we wandered thru the town, checked out the University and of course stopped by McDonalds so I could use their free wi-fi.

One of the longest waterfalls and gorges on the area is about 40 km east of Armidale- so we drove over. We thought that maybe there wouldn't be a waterfall because of the drought...but there was!

Again, it is hard to describe the diversity of this land...you see farms and rolling hills and then the land opens up and there is a massive gorge with two waterfalls. I can see the farms on the otherside at the top. So crazy.

Then back through Armidale to head further south to see the Big Golden Guitar complex. Couldn't miss it. Right on the New England Highway. They are big celebrators of the country music in this area. Haha.

We then went to the adorable town of Scone...but made the bad mistake of going to Hogs Breath Cafe. NEVER go to chain restaurants. So gross. Seriously. And I am not feeling well today. So that didn't help.

We were going to stay in Muswellbrook(pronounced Muscle-brook) but we really wanted to see a movie and they didn't have a cinema. So we decided to drive the 40 kilometers to the bigger town of Singleton...where they had a cinema. So I am driving out of Muswellbrook and am passing from a 60k an 80k per hour...and I see a cop to the left pointing a hair dryer at me but I am fine cause I know that I am not speeding at all.

I guess I should point out that the Aussies are very, very strict about speeding. There is a sign posted about every 15 minutes or so- "how fast are you going now?" or "speeding-no one thinks very big of you". They also have a camera pretty often to catch you speeding.

But they do normally give you 3 warning signs before the speed camera. They don't want you to speed. Got it.

So I am driving the correct speed but as I get closer to the cop car- I realize that one cop is out in the street motioning me to pull over. So guess who has a ticket for speeding? I was already over 60k before I passed the 80k sign.

The best part of this story is that the cop asked me how much longer I was going to be in Australia... I said 2 more weeks. So he said with a laugh- "well, if you pay this ticket that is up to you, but you can also not pay it because there isn't much we can do about it.". Then he shrugged and walked off.

Oh. I'm paying it. I'd like to come back here one day.

We went to see Couples Retreat that night. It's funny but it would be a better rental.

Going to some vineyards tomorow and then to the Blue Mountains for 2 nights!!!!

Give me eyes to see...

2009-10-14T07:03:00.000-04:00

Monday, October 12th

I wake up early. No matter what. Earlier than the others with me, so I usually wait for awhile before I start getting ready for the day. I was going to run this morning but I decided not to because we are hiking in the Bald Mountain National Park...which should be a 3 hour hike total.

My left foot is still giving me problems - but the pain is on the top of my foot. This has happened before but it normall goes away eventually. Not now. After today's hike, I might take it easy for a couple of days and see what happens.

We ate breakfast at a mom & pop bakery - we all had meat pies with something different on top. Mine had tomatoes, cheese and bacon - not too bad!

The Bald Rock Mountain is supposedly the largest exposed granite monolith in the Southern hemisphere. We started our hike up with snacks and water. It was an easy hike up - mostly on a logging road. As we got to the top - we were hiking mostly on smoth granite rock. We again had a great view, there were lots of clouds but they just added to the beauty. We had hoped to see wildlife out here but all we saw were flies and a few birds.

Then. There are two ways to the summit.
1) long but easy (which we took up to the top)
2) short and harder - more of a rock climb

We tried to find the rock climb down. But honestly there were NO signs for it at the top. So Candis and AJ thought we could continue our hike dow the logging road - I mentioned that I wasn't comfortable with it but agreed to try. 45 minutes later we hadn't seen any signs - so I told them that I thought we should really turn around. I have been in this situation too many times before(you know, lost but you know exactly where you are) so we turned around. We were low on water and it was lunch time...Anyways, we got back fine, just hiked a lot longer than we planned.

I was super determined to not get discouraged - so my prayer the whole time was "give me eyes to see"...cause I can get so inward focused that I miss what's around me. (Still didn't see kangaroos though).

We washed our faces at a spigot near the carpark and then drove to a waterfall gorge - it was beautiful! There was also a HUGE dragon/lizard...pictures to come!

We spent the rest of the day driving south...we decided to go to the next town down for lunch - even though we were all pretty hungry - so around 3:30 in the small town of Deepwater...we stopped at a convenient store that served burgers and sandwiches. The owner is a delightful woman who has been in the area for about 4 years - her name is Sandra. She told us stories about her family and how she ended up in Deepwater. All I know is she makes a mean burger - it was possibly the best meal yet! We left stuffed.

In Glen Innes - there is a Celtic memorial to honor the Irish and how they helped Australia to become what it is today. They are standing stones...it is pretty cool. But weird because it isn't natural. And there are alllll sorts of amazing rocks standing all over the place. But we went and looked and enjoyed.

Further down the road as we passed through Glen Innes - we saw the Happy Strawberry. They make strawberry shakes, shortcake, jams and more. This place was recommended to us by Ulla. So we had to stop in! Candis and I split a shake and because I had asked about the Pavlova - the woman gave us a sample. It was a meringue with cream and strawberries. OH MY. I could have licked the plate! So good. No really. I want some more now.

Found out my hike in New Zealand was cancelled. So...I don't know what I am going to do in a couple of days. I think I am still heading to New Zealand but I don't know where I am going to hike. OH - and the weather in South Australia and New Zealand is cold enough to snow! hehe.

Tonight we are in a cabin at a YHA - in the town of Armidale. The home of the University of New England.

Rain & laundry...

2009-10-12T18:58:00.003-04:00

Sunday, October 11

I woke up early and ran about 5 miles to the beach and back. Byron Bay is very much a tourist community with lots of typical shops & restaurants all over the town center AND this place is crowded. There are people everywhere!

Which is sad to me cause it seems kind if trashy because of all the tourists...but the beach & lighthouse are still beautiful.

We went up to the lighthouse after packing up the car. We walked up the last part to the lighthouse and we were surrounded by a contrast of views. The whole time I am trying so hard to stay in the moment as well as to suck in every view that I see. Again the contrast of rocks and beach and mountains and ocean... It's good. And today the sky is cloudy so it adds an anger to the beauty.

Breakfast was at a restaurant called Whynot. Mmmmmmm.... Great but simple. An egg, bacon, spinach, aioli on a roll. They also had the best wireless connection that I have used yet. So I was able to book my hike on the New Zealands northern island. Yea!!!! I will be over
there for about 8 days. Very excited!!

We started to Nimbin around 11:30 am bccause we walked through some of the stores in Byron Bay. As we walked through the stores in Nimbin, we quickly realized that they all had something to do with marijuana.

I guess you can actually smoke pot on the streets even though it is illegal in Australia. We went through the Nimbin museum- turns out that Nimbin had its own version of Woodstock in 1973 called Aquarius. And they havent really stopped celebrating or protesting since. Most of the buildings were painted in unique ways.

Then we saw a laundrymat. Sooo...we spent the next 2 hours doing laundry. It was a need at this point for me...I was out of all of me clean clothes. So yea for clean clothing again!

We had planned to get a late lunch in Nimbin but it started raining. Pouring actually- which is good for the Aussies because much of this country has been in a drought for awhile. But rain is not what we want to explore in. So we left and continued our journey south to a small town called Tenterfield. A lot of restaurants and stores close on Sundays- especially in smaller town- so it's harder to find a place to eat. But we found a good ole McDonalds on our way to Tenterfield.

I can't believe I actually ate at a McDonalds in Australia. Haha.

Candis & AJ are hanging out with a lively group of men at the pub next door. I needed a night on my own so I drove around and spent most of the night catching up on my journalling. It's almost 10 pm here and 6 am in Pensacola- thinking and praying for you all this morning!

OH! and we saw our first wild kangaroo on the side of the road today.
Just hangin out. So cool!

And then there were three...

2009-10-12T18:57:00.005-04:00

Saturday, October 10th

After another amazing breakfast from Ulla and crew at the Leatherwood Lodge, we are off. There is an overlook called Mt. Coot-tha. You can drive up to the top and can see almost the entire city of Brisbane.

I don't know if I mentioned this before but the weather has been really nice since we left Sydney - cool but sunny. So the view from the overlook is pretty cool. I love seeing the mountains and ocean in the distance.

Now we are on our way to the airprt to pick up one of Candis' friends from high school. He is stationed in Guam and he asked if he could join us on our drive down to Sydney.

AJ is with us. We decided to stop through a community on top of Mt. Tamborine. The women we met in Port Macquarie last week recommended it to us. We did a short hike down to a waterfall in a rainforest.

Yep. It's so flipping INCREDIBLE!

Then a stop in at a combination brewery & cheese factory and our journey continues south. We have heard of unique town called Nimbin that we want to stop in. It is a place where hippies & artists collect. So we are going to spend the night in Byron Bay and drive
through Nimbin tomorrow.

Ha. So trying to find a place to stay here in Byron Bay on a Saturday night was almost impossible. We stopped at about 10 hostel/hotels and they all had no vacancy. But we eventually found a cabin with 2 rooms for a decent price. Whew.

We drove up to the lighthouse after dinner and as soon as we got out of our car to look at the water below, we were greeted by really loud music and 2 couples who were hanging out up there. Tanker, dude who's name I keep forgetting, & two Amandas.

As soon as they heard our accent...they began to ask us questions and tell us stories about living in Queensland vs. New South Wales. I haven't laughed so hard in a long, long time. They were very entertaining and so friendly. We all enjoyed meeting them. And they
recommended the town of Nimbin as a must see. So tomorrow it is.

Night. Blessings.

Koala & Kangaroos and "Fourex"

2009-10-12T05:51:00.000-04:00

Friday, October 9th

I could only sleep till 2:00 a.m. - Why? I have no idea...so I ended up getting out of bed & watching the sun rise over Brisbane. Candis and I are staying in a rustic B&B in Brookfield which is about 15 minutes East of Brisbae. We wanted to find a place where we could rest and just be. There is an incredible wrap-around porch - which is where I spend a lot of my time.

Harold, the B&B caretaker, made a hue Australian breakfast for us this morning...with eggs, toast, bacon, fried mushrooms & tomatoes, coffee and fresh squeezed orange juice. Yummmmmm...

Both of us really wanted to see koalas and kangaroos up close - se we went to the Lone Pine Koala Sanctuary. This place is the one of the oldest and largest places that cares for koalas. The take care of 133 koalas, as well as kangaroos, Tasmanian devils, crocodiles, dingos and more. The koalas are beautiful - they look incredibly sweet...I watched a mom with a baby for the longest time...so gentle. I also got to pet a kangaroo and Candisheld a koala. We both really enjoyed the experience.

We had tried to go to the Victoria Bitters brewery yesterday...it was supposedly right off the interstate, but when we got off the exit...there were no signs. We had no idea where to go to get there. Never found it. So today we decided to go to a rival beer brewery - the "Fourex" beer. There were only 2 other guys on the tour with us, so we were able to ask more questions and our guide made it more personable. After the tour, you get to sample 4 of their beers, so the four of us sat around and talked for about an hour.

Roee is from Israel and is spending months exploring Aussie and New Zealand before heads to University. He just completed his tour with the Israel Military. Simon is from Ireland andhe basically travels for life and works when he has to. He has an Australia work visa for 6 months and then will be here exploring for another year. Yep. It was a fascinating conversation. I hope to keep up with their travels over facebook.

I basically spent the rest of the evening struggling to stay awake past 8 p.m. because of my lack of sleep the past two nights.

I miss lots of peoples tonight...
Praying.

Signs? We don't need no stinkin signs.

2009-10-08T16:33:00.003-04:00

Thursday, October 8th

Awake at 3:26 a.m. We are going to hike up the famous Mt. Warning - our goal is to be at the top for the sunrise. We decided to stay in a basic cabin on the Mt. Warning National Park so we could get to the base of the hiking trail quickly. (no tent camping allowed on the mtn).

This is the 1st time Candis has ever hiked anything like this..so I was pretty. Excited to be out here with her. The elevation of the mtn is about 3793 feet. It's a 4 & 1/2 hour round trip hike - the climb is about 3 miles to the peak which includes a rock climb/scramble up
the last 500 yards- which is actually the remaining core & basalt plug for the one of the oldest extinct volcanos in the world. The aboriginal people call this mountain "Wollumbin" which means "fighting chief of the mountain". Many people come here to climb this mtn for spiritual reasons...which I would say is true for me as well.

I have to be honest- I left my headlamp in Sydney so we were attempting to hike/climb this mountain with a very simple hand held flashlight that Candis brought. Not the best move I have made. But we climbed - we could hear birds scrambling away from us as we slowly & steadily climbed up the mountain. We kept laughing and listening and cautiously taking each step. We started the hike at 4:00 am surrounded by rain forest. By 5:30 we were able to see the horizon begin to change colors before the sign. Then it was time to climb rocks. We left my hiking poles by the side so we could get them on the way down. There is a chain installed to help you pull yourself up the rocks...which was helpful some of the time. This was the first time that morning that I needed to stop & rest on the way up - it's a hard vertical climb. I waited for Candis & then we made it to the top. We put on another layer of clothes and then took in the breathtaking views of the other mountains & valleys & the Pacific Ocean. I have never hiked a mountain where I could see an ocean from the summit. I love, love it! Because of the location of this mtn by the ocean...the summit gets to see the sunrise first in Australia. And it is an amazing sunrise.

We were joined by a couple about 15 minutes later and you could tell they were disappointed that we were there before them. Hehe.

Then we began our slow hike down- which included me sliding down the rock scramble on my rear end. It was pretty fun except my hands were so cold, it hurt to use them. (they warmed up pretty quickly)

What an incredible adventure -

The rest of the day we travelled, explored the very touristy Gold Coast(lots and lots and lots of highrises-a lot like Destin but much larger).

We have decided that Aussies don't like to use excess signage- because we can not go anywhere without turning around once. They NEVER use North, South, East or West.... Ever. Which means we have to guess.

But we are near Brisbane in a beautiful location that overlooks the mountains and we are resting.

On the left side of the road.

2009-10-08T03:10:00.002-04:00

Wednesday, October 7th

Okay, today has been my favorite so far. I woke before 6 to head out for a run down by the water and found many other people already out walking/running. Imagine me- in a running skirt & green tank top...standing to the side of the path waiting for my Garmin to realize that we are not in Pensacola.

I stand there.

For a looooong time.

While Aussies walk by and mutter to my cheerful Good Morning, "dressed light, aren't we?". I don't think they could figure out why I was just standing there -in low 50 degree weather.

Anyways, I ran. Down the jetty, across two beach fronts, up lots of stairs to an overlook that literally took my breath away. The Pacific ocean - a deep green and turquoise, crashing against rocks, a variety of green trees, the sun rising while the moon is still in the sky.

Oh. The colors and the feelings. Have I mentioned how much I love to see the world we live in - on my feet? Running and hiking - doesn't get much better. (pictures coming at some point)

I took Candis to the overlook after breakfast and as we were heading back up the stairs to the car- we passed a group of women from the local Anglican church at a picnic table that is situated at an overlook. I took about 6 steps up the stairs & told Candis that I was going back. We walked up and explained we were on a holiday and just wanted to ask them some questions. Haha. They were delightful. We only talked for about 10 minutes -they have been mtg together for about 4 years and were connected thru the church. They gave us ideas
of places to visit and recommended that we both move to Port Macquarie.

Then. It was time for me to drive. I hated leaving Port Macquarie but I can now drive on the left side of the road. We continued up the coast to a town called Murwillbah to find a cabin in Mt. Warning National Park. We will be waking early tomorrow to hike to the top
before sunrise.

Ate salt & pepper calamari for lunch in Coffs Harbour.

Oi! Oi! Oi!

2009-10-07T06:56:00.001-04:00

Tuesday, Oct 6

Sooooo...we have left Sydney & have begun our journey up the coast.
We took the train to the airport for our rental car and then hit the
road. Candis drove first- on the left side of the road... I realized
that we hadn't gotten me properly signed up to drive the rental, so
she was the driver. Round abouts are the hardest to figure out...only
one scary situation, otherwise she did great.

We made our way to Newcastle which has an observation deck and a great walkway out onto a jetty. Gorgeous! We have taken sooo many pics - of each other, of scenery and of our food. We ate at the oldest meat pie take-away hut....chicken pie covered in cheese sauce, mashed potatoes & gravy. Mmmmmm... Then we wandered and took in the sights.

Off to Port Macquarie for the night. We stayed at the Hotel Macquarie or "Macca" as we learned the locals call it. Got a double bed with community showers for a great price. Wandered on the water and watched the sun go down.

Settled in early - with plans for an early morning run to check out the walking path by the water.

I have to say that at this point I am so thankful for this opportunity to be here. We are moving faster than I would like but that is so we can slow down on the way back. We are talking to locals and asking questions when we can.

I ask for your prayers about the 2nd two weeks that I will be here...there are a couple different things that I can do but i have to wait and see what comes through.

Good onya!

2009-10-06T05:44:00.003-04:00

Good onya!

We wore ourselves out yesterday - Candis & I attempted to see as much of Sydney in one day as possible. I will have more time during the 2nd two weeks to play in this area but wanted to capture as much as we could while we are together.

Just so you know the weather right now is amazingly chilly as well as overcast & rainy. So travelling on trains & by foot for the day was interesting.

Jason recommended that we get an ALL day/ALL travel pass... That way we could rode trains, buses & ferry's. So we did. And as soon as we were in Sydney downtown we went straight to Circular Quay(pronounced key), and caught the ferry to Manly beach. The ferry ride was amazing. It takes right by the Opera House, the bridge and you get to see the landscape change. We sat in front of 2 gentlemen from Germany-I was eavesdropping-who took our picture for us. Love speaking in German!

Manly beach is gorgeous and so family & outdoor activity oriented.
Craggy rocks and surfers and palm trees and overlooks...

After walking around Manly beach, we managed to catch the ferry just as rain started to fall. So we sat outside but under a overhang...

Then lunch. Kangaroo pizza was what we wanted. Seriously. The Australian Hotel was recommended to us for unique pizzas...and it was sooo good!

I was pretty tired at this point but we caught a train to Darling Harbour... We walked through China Town-where I got a Taro bubble tea...yum! Then to Paddys markets- a flea market of sorts. Candis found a lot of souvenirs while I looked at didgeridoos as well as try to figure out who would want me to bring them a Kangaroo scrotum keychain. Yep.

We wandered through Darling Harbour...just amazed at the variety of people & families. And then- it poured. We ran, skirted buildings, found ourselves in a very expensive car park and then made it to the town hall train station. Dinner was Vietnamese one station down and
then home. Aaahhh...

Whooooooooooooooooo!!!

2009-10-04T16:31:00.001-04:00

Okay - we have met some very, very friendly and very, very CRAZY people!

The flight from Los Angeles to Sydney was long but it really wasn't too bad - we each had our own screen and many movies and tv shows to watch. Didn't sleep much but I made it.

Customs didn't take long -but I will say that they are MUCH stricter here about what you can and cannot bring into their country. And we changed money over and then started the train ride to Jason and Amy's house... The public transportation is incredible here - you can get everywhere! We got on one wrong train but were able to change before it caused us any trouble.

Okay, the crazy people...today is the last day of Sydney's Rugby play-offs and there are many people dressed in yellow and blue...at least those are the only two colors that we have seen so far. Loud horns and lots of yellowing out of car windows. Candis and I asked two of the guys to take a picture with us - so you should see that soon.

We were also offered a room by a guy on the train - 28 years old, still in school and very unique...he couldn't sit still, kept dancing around a pole and didn't breathe while dispelling his new found ideology. He also told us that our trip was already complete because we had met him. So I said, "Than we are lucky, huh?" He said, very seriously, "You are."

Oh! I don't even have the time to describe all the birds and their songs...it's like a wildlife preserve just in the neighborhood!

We are off to church with Amy and Jason...they are the pastors of a church plant here in Sydney - through Every Nation.

Blessings.

Let's say that...

2009-10-04T03:03:00.001-04:00

Let's say that...
I am currently sitting on delta flight...heading west-out over the
Pacific Ocean. Candis and I connected in Memphis and even though the
flight I am on now is longer, flying to LA took forever! Then we got
some iced coffees-hers for real, mine starbucks in a can. We both
heard that we should try to stay awake as long as possible on the
flight to Sydney. So we got caffeine to help.

I think I have been on this plane for 12 hours at this point. There
are many different kinds of people(though I would say the variety was
more obvious when the Nigerian team flew to Nigeria) on the plane and
a great variety of accents. I have really enjoyed watching everyone.
Ph and right this second, the sun rise is beginning to show itself.
There are no words to describe the combinations of colors and just how
vast it all is.

Couple of interesting conversations worth remembering:
I met a guy on the first flight named Mark, he is an anesthesialogist
at Sacred Heart and he doesn't believe in organized religion. Hehe.
We had a great discussion about who Jesus was/is and how I would
believe something so primitive, nevermind that it would be my job. He
was pretty open to hear what I shared and told me a lot of his
stories. I tell you it's these stories ya make life worth living.
Now Candis & I are sitting with a young guy from canada and he is
taking a month to backpack in Australia as well. But he doesn't
really know why yet... Not in school and figured it would be fun.

FYI- the sunrise is still revealing - mmm.

As Crowder says - "I'm so bored of little gods, while standing on the
edge of something so large. While standing here so close you You. We
could be consumed. What a glorious day!". I am so tired of seeing
this world through my perspective... I am ready to learn and receive
Gods grace for when I don't really see Him in others and in his
creations. I am ready for this month with my Father.

Australia - itinerary

2009-10-01T11:24:00.002-04:00

It's Thursday and tomorrow is Friday. Friday just happens to be the day that I will board a plane which will take me to Memphis, where I will join Candis as we travel to Los Angeles and than all the way to Sydney, Australia. By the way, I will lose October 3rd completely because we will arrive in Sydney on Sunday, October 4th in the a.m. Candis will be with me until the 17th and then I will continue my travel on my own...

Just in case you are wondering where I will be for the next 30 days - here is what our itinerary is for right now:
Sunday, October 4th - Sydney
October 5th - Sydney
October 6th - Coffs Harbour
October 7th - Murwillumbah
October 8th - Brisbane
October 9th - Brisbane
October 10th - Brisbane
Sunday, October 11th - Surfers Paradise
October 12th - Tweed
October 13th - Byron Bay
October 14th - Newcastle
October 15th - Blue Mountains
October 16th - Sydney
October 17th - Candis heads to the US and I start the 2nd part of my adventure.

New Zealand!
Whew

Australia - for the love

2009-09-23T07:34:00.004-04:00

So...I leave in little over a week. On another trip of a lifetime. Me.

Why? Cause two years ago while lying on a couch after foot surgery - I decided to ask our staff parish for permission to take a month off to hike. How did I know two years ago that I would need this month? I have been at THE "rockin" FUMC for almost five years as the Director of Youth Ministries...and honestly it has been such an incredible journey. But it has also been a hard journey. I lost a little of my center this year - my ability to KNOW that I am God's child. To hear his voice through the noises and distractions that I let in every single day.

I have been calling this trip my sabbatical. I looked up the definition for sabbatical and depending on which dictionary website I am on - I don't know if this word qualifies. BUT at dictionary.com - here is their definition for

Sabbatical

–adjective

1.	of or pertaining or appropriate to the Sabbath.

2.	of or pertaining to a sabbatical year.

3.	bringing a period of rest.

–noun

4.	SABBATICAL YEAR

5.	any extended period of leave from one's customary work, esp. for rest, to acquire new skills or training, etc.

So I'm taking a sabbatical - My month to travel and hike in Australia and New Zealand to play, be still, laugh and listen for God's voice.

I have learned that I hear God's voice most clearly as I am struggling up a mountain trail, with everything I need in my backpack, sucking down water as quickly as it is dripping off of me. No one else can help me in those moments...I have to take the steps myself...and when I stop to catch my breath - I look up. Look and listen and see. And I know. I know that I am so insignificant in so, so many ways. There is no way to feel significant when you are surrounded by trees and ridges that loom over. But God see me. He sees me...lost to human eyes...through the trees. He yearns for my heart. And I am filled.

I understand that I live in a culture where we celebrate progress and success and busyness. I don't know why we have to fight so hard to rest. To give ourselves permission to stop. It's like we are shamed when we admit that we are tired. Uh, people - we aren't made to go non-stop.

I am honored that my church is allowing me to rest. To take time for myself. I wish that this wasn't something we had to ask for.

Random interesting fact about Australia:
#1 ~ There is no place in Australia that has a distance of more than 1000 km(approximately 621 miles) from the sea.

Whoops...

2009-09-14T08:34:00.004-04:00

I struggle with my blog for a couple of different reasons...
~Why do I want others to know my thoughts?
~Why would others want to know my thoughts?
~I have a tendency to guard what I write so that I never really say what is on my mind. Which kind of defeats the purpose of what I am trying to express. Way too much of a people pleaser.

I am getting better about this last one - if you read my 2003 AT blog and then hear me tell some of the stories - then you would know that I a lot more honest these days. I just wanted everyone to think I was having an amazing time out there! Which I was...but it was also the hardest thing I have ever done. So I haven't written much this year, because I don't really know how to say where I am. Or what I am experiencing. But I guess I want to try again cause here I am.

2009 has been a hard year for me so far. Even as I read "hard year" I want to change it. I don't want you to think that I am complaining. But dang it, often life is hard. This has been a hard year. Personally, physically, mentally and spiritually. I have been with friends in some of their darkest hours, questioned my own calling, had two friends pass away unexpectedly and so much more.

I have also had the opportunity to take 7 students to Nigeria and help bring clean water to a remote village, been running most mornings at 5:30 a.m. to get ready for a marathon and the 2010 Disney's Goofy race and a half challenge, as well as share my heart and life with my students and friends.

And I tried to hold on. Hold on with out calling out. Without letting go. About a month ago - I read Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth". And I thought I was being still...for a second. But I spent some time reading more about what being still really means.

Be Still comes from the Hebrew word - raphah.

abate, cease, consume, draw toward evening, fail, be faint, be wax feeble, forsake,

A primitive root; to slacken (in many applications, literal or figurative) -- abate, cease, consume, draw (toward evening), fail, (be) faint, be (wax) feeble, forsake, idle, leave, let alone (go, down), (be) slack, stay, be still, be slothful, (be) weak(-en).

To fail? Slack? Slothful? Weaken? Man, I have failed this year. Been slothful and am weaker than ever before. I have tears in my eyes as I type this. I fail so that God can be glorified. I fail so that in my brokenness I can no longer feel justified to judge others. I fail so that my story is real. I fail so that I can get in the trenches with others.

It's hard. It's breathtaking.

Abba...I belong to you.

2009-03-31T09:19:00.001-04:00

Lord Jesus, be for me the way to Abba, Father.

Be for me all my truth and all my life.
Lead me into the crucified life, which is real life, and eternal.
Lead me away from every lesser thing. By Your love, renew my inner being
so that I can receive Your love, and know it truly,
and be Your love to others.
Amen

Who do I think I am?

2009-03-13T13:39:00.002-04:00

I know the things about me that are despicable.
There are so many.

Why is it that I feel justified to judge another person?
Where do any of us get off?

I was actually told by someone(that I don't know that well) this morning that a guy I like wasn't good enough for me. REALLY?
Who is?
Who am I good enough for?

When it comes down to it...we all have struggles, compulsions, lies, hopes, fears, joys, loves and so much more that are part of who we are.

As someone who does try really hard to understand individuals hearts - I know that I see potential in people even when others don't. I want all people - my students, family, friends, guys I like - to live up to their potential and to live life as huge as possible! And if I can help people get there...then all the better for me. I love that! But that's part of the twisted little game for me...I help you - and somehow I benefit. I am still working through all of that. But I can acknowledge it.

Before you judge the next person with a tattoo or green hair or four kids or a 13 year old or a slow driver - why don't you look at your own heart and try to figure out why that person makes you feel like you have a right to feel superior to them?

Image of God...

2009-03-09T08:24:00.005-04:00

How do you see God?

When you think about Him...what image do you have?

Is he...
watching you to catch your mistakes...
chasing after you...
a blur that you can't quite comprehend...
a lap that you can crawl into and rest...
a task master...
like your parents...

Who is he to you?

When Jesus said "Anyone who has seen me has seen the Father." - it was a new idea for his disciples at the time. But for us today - even using the image of father has negative connotations for many people.

I used to think what Jesus said in John 14: 6-7...was that you could GET to the Father unless you get to him through Jesus. I now believe more and more that when Jesus said:

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. ⁷If you really knew me, you would know^a]">[a] my Father as well. From now on, you do know him and have seen him.

...he really is trying to help us understand that he, Jesus, is the best image of our God that we can see here on earth.
That God is...
a servant
loving
really sees people
cares about everyone
despises deceit
is reaching out to us
weeps with us
willing to touch us - even when everyone else thinks we are untouchable
isn't afraid to speak the truth even if it isn't what we want to hear
loves us enough to die for us
isn't going to be what we expect AT ALL.

...a more reckless Trust

2009-03-02T09:55:00.003-05:00

O God, I seek you , but my heart is fickle.
I believe; please help my unbelief.
When all I can do is want to want You,
take my crumb of faith and break it like bread to feed thousands,
beginning, by Your mercy, with me.
You reject no desperate, sinful seeking child.
You say only and always, Come!
I come to You, God.
Pour out Your Spirit on me.
Speak Your words of life to this child.
I pray in Jesus' name, amen.

Prayer from Manning's 19 Mercies: A Spiritual Retreat

"When all I can do is want to want You."

I do believe that there is a Holy Spirit in my life that prompts me, guides me, speaks for me, intercedes for me, speaks through me...

But I spend a lot of my time trying to make sense of God. Jesus. The Holy spirit. And when I try to make them make sense - I forget...the mystery.

Which eventually brings back to only being able to want to want Christ in my life.

Why is it that we as humans have to explain and understand things.

The funny thing is that the more we think we understand...just reveals more that we don't.

I want to be a child that yearns for the Spirit to pour down on me. Every single moment. That I don't miss what God is doing...

thoughts during Lent...

2009-02-28T12:02:00.003-05:00

Mercy #3
Jesus wants to enter into a friendship with you.

Luke 19:1-10

Jesus actually invites himself into the house of a man that most people despise. Zacchaeus was the head tax collector in Jericho and he constantly took extra money from people for himself - nobody liked him. When Jesus said, “Zacchaeus, hurry and come down; for I must stay at your house today.” Zacchaeus was very excited...most people didn't want to spend time with him.

According to Manning, in the Jewish Tradition, to say "I want to have dinner with you" means "I want to enter into a friendship with you". Even today, this is the custom with the Orthodox Jews...they won't invite you over for dinner unless they want to begin or deepen a friendship with you. Interesting when you consider that we are invited to the communion table with Christ.
(I did just spend some time looking up Jewish Traditions but didn't find any info about dinner and friendship - except that to invite someone to your table is a sign of welcome...fyi).

What I am getting most out of the 19 Mercies so far this week - is that Jesus wants to spend time with me. He wants me as I am and today. And He will celebrates when we are able to change our ways...like Zacchaeus giving half of his possessions to the poor and paying back 4x what he had taken from people. I love the last line of what Jesus says about Zacchaeus... “Today salvation has come to this house, because he too is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek out and to save the lost.”

"...he too is a son of Abraham..." We are all part of the family - no matter what we do. No matter who we think we are and who others think we are.

The question I have for myself is what do I need to change - What have I taken from others. How do I give back. Do I already give back? I spend a lot of time helping others. But honestly that sometimes more about me than about the other people...I have learned that in the past couple of years. I am still working out the balance for that.

I haven't spent this much time studying different stories from the Bible just for myself in a long time...it's been good to listen to Jesus' words just for me. I spend a lot of time with him in prayer - especially when I run - but I don't know if when I am praying...if I am listening very well.

I have a place.

Thoughts during Lent...

2009-02-27T08:46:00.004-05:00

I don't write as much as I have in the past. On here. Or in my journal. I don't really know why...I know on here - I struggle with the fact that others might read it and I always want it to be good and real and a learning experience...blah, blah, blah. I tend to be a people pleaser so I want to please in these venues as well. But I have to say that I love reading what some other people write and it always makes me miss writing.

So here I am.

For lent I am using Brennan Manning's "19 Mercies: Spiritual Retreat" which is a new section in the back of his book Ragamuffin Gospel.

The first mercy is "Come". Which I read yesterday along with Psalm 139. I might come back and write my thoughts/struggles about that later.

The second mercy is "Don't Wait"

My reading for today was from Mark 7:36-50
Which is honestly one of the stories that I struggle with a bit. How absolutely disgusting would it be to cry some tears on a mans dirty feet and then wipe them with your hair...and then cover the feet with scented oil and kiss them? But if I don't allow myself to get distracted by those details - I can picture the other people there watching and judging her for her previous actions, as well as judging Jesus for allowing her to touch him. What a beautiful sacrifice she gave.

I love what Manning says about this:
"What drew Mary forward to perform her lovely act of adoration? I think she was simply overcome by the beauty and compassion of this magnetic man, Jesus! And I imagine that His eyes called out to her: Mary, come to Me. Come now. Don’t wait until you get your act cleaned up and your head on straight. Don’t delay until you rescue your reputation, until you’re free of pride and lust, of jealousy and self-hatred. Come to Me now in your brokenness and sinfullness. Come now, with all your fears and insecurities. I will love you just the way you are–just the way you are, not the way you think you should be. "

Her sacrifice - her willingness to be judged by others didn't matter because she wanted to give something to Christ. NOW. And because of her gift - he gave her peace and grace and forgiveness. Jesus says in vs. 47 "Therefore, I tell you, her many sins have been forgiven—for she loved much. But he who has been forgiven little loves little." She sacrificed and received much and will continue to love much.

I wonder sometimes if the reason why I (and many of us) take Jesus' love and grace for granted is because we don't sacrifice much. OR don't think the sacrifices that we have made amount to much.

I have 2 friends who are similar and they seem to get bogged down by feeling like they don't ever get enough done. They don't like to receive from others because they don't feel like they do for others. These are two people who give constantly to others. But they don't recognize it. They sacrifice and love and extend grace and hope often! But they can't receive Jesus' sacrifice, love and grace because they don't realize their own sacrifice. And feel like they have to do more before they can receive anything from Christ. But he is saying to them...to us all...come. NOW. Don't wait. Don't spend time trying to look better, getting your house in order, working out, getting distracted by all the things that distract us...come NOW.

My prayer for myself and others this lenten season is that we learn to echo Jesus' journey into the Wilderness for 40 days. To learn more about sacrifice. To recognize that we are forgiven just as we are. NOW.

2009-02-27T08:41:00.001-05:00

"...I will love you just the way you are - just the way you are, not the way you think you should be."

2009-01-16T15:43:00.001-05:00

...not feeling too well today. So napping has been happening.

2009-01-08T15:01:00.001-05:00

...for the love...doorbell. It didn't ring most of yesterday - but it's back in full force today!

2009-01-07T10:53:00.001-05:00

...4 DAYS! Tell your friends...

2009-01-07T08:26:00.001-05:00

...loving the Ampersand EP - http://ampersandep.com/ ...thanks @candspice

2009-01-06T16:09:00.001-05:00

...um, so the doorbell in my building is randomly ringing and it hasn't worked over a year! Crazy.

2009-01-03T13:55:00.001-05:00

...being super lazy today...

Online Social communities...and the ministry that I serve.

2008-12-16T22:52:00.002-05:00

There is so much happening online these days that it's almost overwhelming. I can spend hours - hours - just reading about all the online communities and what different ministries or organizations are using them for.

I have a love/hate relationship with all of it. I am slightly addicted(read - on all the time) to facebook and twitter - I can access them through my phone now. But I hate cell phones. I still leave my phone behind when I am with people. I don't want these things to control me but I love how I can check in on my friends whenever I like...well, at least the ones that are on facebook and twitter. I mean, I even found my childhood best friend who lives in Germany! And now we are slowly reconnecting! But I really, really don't always want to know everything that people update...some people update all the time. And for whatever reason, that bothers me. And I am starting to carry my cell phone with me more places - like staff meeting. That is something that I started about a month ago...weird. I still get annoyed though when people constantly look at and use their phones when they are in a meeting with me or we are talking...but now I am doing it to. (I know, I know - hypocritical). Struggle.

So. I don't let my students use their cell phones in the youth building - or they aren't supposed to or I take them away till they leave. But they constantly try to use them and are quite successful at times...and sometimes I ignore it or I take them away. But at this point...it is time for me to accept/acknowledge that cell phones/online communities are definitely around for awhile. There are many ministries that use cell phones/myspace/facebook/twitter as a way to allow students to interact during teaching or prayer times.

So is this what I should do? I am encouraging our worship committee/team to use twitter/texting as a means for building social community and prayer and feedback in our new ICON service that will begin on January 11th. But do I encourage my students to join twitter and use cell phones while I am teaching? While other adults are teaching?

I have talked about all of this with many of my friends and EVERYONE has a different opinion.

Reasons to use twitter and texting within the ministry:
1. Instant prayer requests
2. Instant feedback
3. Can ask questions during the week that people can give a quick and short response to.
4. The ministry can send info about what is going on in the future.
5. Most of my students have cell phones now and can't imagine not having it on them for even 5 minutes.

Some good questions about twitter and texting:
1. Is there a way to filter what people say - if we post the info immediately on a screen
2. not everyone knows how to use the technology/application
3. Some students won't/can't use texting/twittering - costs too much, just don't want to, etc.
4. Sometimes twitter doesn't update info as quickly as you need it to.

I am not sure if I really asked any real questions in this post - I am still trying to figure out what I think about it all. I know that I think that some people are way too connected and run the risk of not having enough face-to-face interaction because of their online communities. I think that we tend to be less cautious when we speak/write something online because there isn't instant feedback and it seems safer to email/text/IM/twitter something to somebody. I know that I love connecting with people through these venues. I know that I don't want it to control me.

Finally...

2008-12-15T22:15:00.003-05:00

So I've been on a journey...well, we are all on a journey but... maybe I should call this a "season". HA!

Homeless.
Broken.
Bicycles.
Clean Water.
Community.
Authenticity.

I want to give more than I have been. I have SO freakin much! But I talk a lot about trying to do more or give more and then I don't really change my actions. It's so easy to just continue to lay on my couch and read books about other people who are changing the world.

I have succumbed to the following, "...the ghettos may have their share of violence and crime, the suburbs are home to more subtle demonic forces - numbness, complacency & comfort..."(Shane Claiborne).

Here's the thing. I am more despicable than I want to be. (Really it's true)

For almost an entire year our church has been serving the homeless on Mondays and Thursdays - they make and serve lunch(and it's a great lunch) and have lately been collecting clothes to give to the men and women. It is amazingly organized and they serve food to more than 100 people on both days.

I have never been before today. Why? Why did I wait so long? I always have too much to do and I am always afraid of things I don't know. So I never went.

But I don't have any more excuses. I want to get to know the people that we serve...I want to serve them. I want to know their names and learn their stories. So I went today.
For an hour - I served hot dogs and soup to men and women. I met Joseph and Wendell and listened to Wendell recite about 10 poems that he has written at different points in his life.

Finally. I am tired of just talking.
I am ready to serve.
To be salty.

I was proposed to as well - and told that Walmart will be having a sale soon on men that are available. Funny!

What do I do with this...

2008-11-21T17:54:00.003-05:00

I am in Nashville for the National Youth Workers Conference. This is possibly my 8th or 9th year to attend and every year I come into it not really sure what to expect. When I worked for interlinc and I attended all three conferences in the fall - I started to feel superior. I mean, when you go as often as I have and have learned as much as I have...what else is there for you to learn???

This year, I am actually excited about being here. I am tired right now but I am excited to be here with 5 amazing adults from my church. I can't wait to hear about their experiences and what they start dreaming up for our youth ministry.

But right this minute...I am completely broken. I don't really even know what to write. I just listened to Francis Chan at the first general session.

He spoke so many things that I have struggled with at different times. Now don't get me wrong, I have been able to ignore those same things as well, but I have struggled at times and I really don't know what to do with what I feel. Don't know what to do with this struggle.

If I am called to be salty...then have I missed the point completely? Am I still salty at all?

Am I excited to be a disciple of Christ? I talk about the church in Acts 2 often and struggle with the fact that I don't feel like we living as they did then...They were unstoppable.
And now we leave church if the carpet color is wrong or if the music is the kind that we like. They sold everything and shared it together...we put a huge amount of money into a retirement fund while a HUGE amount of Christ followers are starving all over the world (including our back yard) and then we have the nerve to get worried if we have a financial crisis. What if we trusted God with our retirement and gave the money to people in need throughout our lives...

...to be continued...

A King and a Kingdom

2008-11-05T22:02:00.002-05:00

Love this song - and think it is fitting considering our recent election.
(Thanks Candi for the reminder!!!)

who's your brother, who's your sister
you just walked passed him
i think you missed her
as we're all migrating to the place where our Father lives
'cause we married into a family of immigrants

so my first allegiance is not to a flag, a country, or a man
my first allegiance is not to democracy or blood
it's to a King and a Kingdom

there are two great lies that i’ve heard:
“the day you eat of the fruit of that tree, you will not surely die”
and that Jesus Christ was a white, middle-class republican
and if you wanna be saved you have to learn to be like Him

so my first allegiance is not to a flag, a country, or a man
my first allegiance is not to democracy or blood
it's to a King and a Kingdom

but nothing unifies like a common enemy
and we’ve got one, sure as hell
but he may be living in your house
he may be raising up your kids
he may be sleeping with your wife
oh no, he may not look like you think

so my first allegiance is not to a flag, a country, or a man
my first allegiance is not to democracy or blood
it's to a King and a Kingdom

A King and a Kingdom
by Derek Webb

Back in the states...

2008-11-03T11:03:00.003-05:00

I am pretty sure most of us have got it all backwards.

Why do we work so hard to have time to do nothing?

What is rewarding about nothing?

I am not sure that this blog will make sense but I will see where it goes...I went to a bootcamp class this morning. All these women are in the class with me - as we started working out - I started thinking about how here in America we have the freedom to go to school, get jobs, to make money, so that we can afford to eat where we want(and eat too much) and then go to a gym. I just spent a week in a country where I never saw a gym. But who needs a gym when you have to go outside and get your own water from a public water spigot? Who needs a gym when you have to get your groceries daily because there is refrigeration where you live - so you do only eat what you need.

The thing I missed the most last week while in Nigeria was my cell phone. Isn't that crazy? Okay, not really the cell phone but the instant connection I have with the people that I care about because I have a cell phone. The entire last hour on the plane(and I had been on that plane for 14 hours) - I was ready to turn my phone on. I think I sent a text to everyone that I could think of to say I was back in the States.

But yesterday at church...I spent the entire day there because I had two meetings in addition to our normal Sunday schedule...I struggled with the realization of how easy it is to miss God's still small voice when I am home. When I am in America. America is loud. We demand to have all of our needs met and we want them met instantly. We have t.v., internet, radio, ipods, smart phones, bill boards...it's all just noise! Loud noise.

I think I crave the time I had on the Appalachian Trail for six months. Six months of very little external noise. And anytime I get a taste of that - like I did last week in Nigeria - I yearn for it again. I always say I learned how to breathe deep while hiking...I had to. And I am so thankful for it.

I am my own worst enemy. It's not America's fault that I buy into the noise. I don't have to get online the minute I get home. I try really hard to not keep my cell phone with me all the time, the t.v. stays off more and more these days...but the internet is where I spend my time.

So here's to less noise.

“Listen to your life. See it for the fathomless mystery that it is. In the boredom and pain of it no less than in the excitement and gladness: touch, taste, smell your way to the holy and hidden heart of it because in the last analysis all moments are key moments, and life itself is grace.”
Frederick Buechner

Sans the suitcase...but I am home.

2008-11-01T23:36:00.002-04:00

I just got home.
This day has been incredibly long so I am not going to write much...but I left the house I was staying at by 6:15 a.m. and got to the Lagos International airport by 7:15 a.m., only to have the entire Delta system go down. So they had to manually check all of us. I was lucky - I got back by 8:45 but we didn't actually leave until 11;53 a.m!!!!!!!!!! Supposed to leave by 9:15 a.m.
So 2 extra hours on an airplane but just sitting at the terminal.

But it shortened my 4 hour layover in Atlanta to 2 hours and now I am home.

Without my suitcase - I had it in Atlanta cause you have to get it to go through customs off an international flight and then recheck it for your domestic flight. But at least I had it in Nigeria the entire time!

I really loved Nigeria.

Last morning in Owerri...

2008-10-31T07:37:00.003-04:00

I have LOTS of thoughts about my time here and I know I've included some of the thoughts in my writings so far but I will try to process and share some of what I feel...
Today we got more water for the upstairs...and while were were filling the jugs a funeral procession started out front. So we ran upstairs to watch the procession happen...Interesting.
Then we got ready to head out to the market one more time to buy toilet paper and soap for the kids at the Red Cross Motherless Babies home...when we got there -they just said "Welcome" and continued with their work. So Mare, Chidinma and I started to hold and dance and play with the babies for a while. Man, if I lived here - I would probably come often to hold the kids...
When we come in April my prayer is that we can help level the playground, fix or add playground equipment, bring some books and stuffed animals and just hold the babies...
Now we are back at Mare's eating oranges and she is putting up with me while I am on here.

Blessings to all of you!

Time for me to head back home...I am flying to Lagos tonight and then staying with a family that is connected with Rob Haynes at Fairhope UMC. (THANKS ROB!) Then I leave their house at 6:00 a.m. tomorrow morning(Midnight Friday in Pensacola) to get to the Lagos International Airport...then the crazy long flight to Atlanta and then home by 10:00 p.m.(Pensacola time)

Motherless Babies Home...

2008-10-30T17:08:00.004-04:00

Well, today we were going to work and play. First we planned on going by the Red Cross Motherless Babies Home to see what we could do there in April and then we were going to go to the lake with Richee and his friend Sylvester. It's about 45 minutes away from where Mary Ann lives and she really wanted to share this place with me. So we had the guys meet us at 10:00 a.m. to head out...and as we got in the car, Mare warned them them that the car isn't working well(see last nights info about that) - and that if it gave us too much trouble heading to the orphanage then we wouldn't go to the lake.

We made it to the Motherless Babies home and got out and were completely not sure where to go. Right away I knew that my group could just spend time cleaning up the grounds or removing trash or ANYTHING and it could be helpful. This is a non-profit organization and it completely depends on volunteers...we finally made our way to C who was willing to talk to us about the children at the home. And once she figured out that we were connected to Fyne...then she was very helpful!

Have to end here...but will continue in the morning.

Okay, the generator ran out of fuel last night so we had to shut everything down...

Basically, the Red Cross Motherless Children's home has huge needs and the absolute heartbreaking thing is that it will take so little from some of us to help fill some of their needs. Like they say on every commercial for places like this - only $20 or $30 a month can feed and care for a child! It's crazy true.

I have a few things that this orphanage can use that I want us to try to take care of...I will list them in separate post.

After C gave us a tour of the whole facility we played with the babies but not for very long and then we went to buy them peanuts and biscuits(crackers) across the street.

We never went to the lake - the car is not in good shape so we decided not to risk it if we didn't have to and we are still going to have to use the car to get me to the airport.

Mare and I got some more shawarma's at Crunchies and spent the afternoon entertaining some of her male admirers. They stop by quite often. It's actually pretty rediculous...some of them do just want to be friends but so many would love to marry an american woman! They really do believe that America has all the answers...they have bought everything that Hollywood is selling. What was pretty amazing is that two of the guys(the ones that went to the orphanage with us) - actually listened to us when we explained that hollywood is not how most of America really is. Mare has told that to soooo many people already but most don't believe her. So I think it is helpful to have two of us here - to give different examples. I told them how I hiked the entire Appalachian Trail and they just couldn't understand why someone would do that...but it made them realize that we don't all sit around with food at our feet all the time. It was a fascinating conversation...

In the evening, we ate fried yams and plantains - split the last of the smores that I brought(just the marshmellow, chocolate and graham cracker - not over a fire)...and watched another movie together before the power and generator went out.

Crazy driving and new foods???

2008-10-30T12:06:00.005-04:00

Wednesday continued:

So after Richee left we decided to get some food "to go". We got shawarma to go on Tuesday in Onitsha and so Mare decided to take me to a different "fast food" restaurant called Renny's. We got into the car and as soon as she started it and let it go to idle...the car died. And we both just started cracking up. Then the car lights went out. So we agreed that we wanted to try to venture out at night to this restaurant...but weren't sure the car would make it...but we decided to try. Basically the poor car would stall anytime it was in neutral or idle...it's a standard car - it's often in neutral AND the lights would randomly go off so she had to . So Mare had to navigate the traffic, rev the engine when we came to stop(which means braking with the left foot), and switch the lights between on and brights...NUTS! All in all - she did a great job...

We got to Renny's and picked out some Agusi soup with foofoo and garee...it is more like a stew that is eaten with a starch with your fingers. And to eat this you use a technique called swallowing. Roll a small amount of the starch in your fingers - scoop some soup and then place on tongue and swallow. So we both ordered the same thing - but hers had a big ol piece of fish and mine did not...no meat for me. :)

We headed out and got into the marvelous car and...it wouldn't start. So I got out to try to push it cause sometimes if you push start it...it will start. Very laughable...a white girl trying to push a car...some men stopped to help us and started pushing her car down the road...AND it didn't start. They kept hitting the trunk and yelling..."start!" "Go!". But we couldn't. And just as we were about to give up - the engine turned over. Whew. So we made it home.

I have to say - out of everything else I have eaten here in Nigeria - Agusi soup is not my favorite. I don't mind the starch or the swallowing...but the soup tasted pretty fishy and Mare says that the one we had is the least fishy that she has eaten. SO...I probably won't be eating too much more of that this week.

Otherwise, I am reading "Jesus for President" by Shane Claiborne this week - and am absolutely loving how it is challenging me. Especially while I am in Nigeria.

Ihiala and back to Owerri!

2008-10-30T04:48:00.006-04:00

Woke up this morning so thankful I finally made it through the night. I wasn't sure I was going to because of the heat. But when I woke up, I also felt better so maybe I got rid of my sickness by sweating!!!

We had a leisurely breakfast with the family and the worked out how were going to get to Ihiala and then home to Owerri. Victory originally thought we would come back to Onitsha before we went back to Owerri but it would save us time if we were able to go straight back...so we found someone who could drive the hour to come and pick us up! Yea Calvin! Also, in the Nigerian culture it is a tradition to say good bye and thank you to the man of the house and he had already left for the morning so she sent someone to go get him so that we could say good bye.
We piled into the ministry van to head to Ihiala but first she wanted Mary Ann (and me by the way) to get measured by her seamstress so Mare can get more clothes made for a cheaper price. Then we were on our way.
When we got to Ihiala there weren't very many people around. There are lots of people on the main street where the shops are but once you turn off the main road it is quiet and very beautiful. We stopped at Victory's grandma's house to see the site of the future borehole and explore the area. Her grandma doesn't speak English so much of the time Mare and I just sat while Victory and her grandma spent some time together. Mare showed me part of the walk to the current water source and we saw some of the other houses and people who will benefit from the new borehole. It is so humbling to realize that many, many people in this entire area have to walk some distance to get water for their daily life needs. And here in Ihiala it's miles to get water. If we are able to bring them the first borehole then half of this community will only have to walk a quarter of a mile for water - but the other half will still have to walk a longer distance. And I just turn my water on. And off. And on. As I need/want. Victory's grandma seems to live off the land - plantains, oranges, yams and other things grow all around her. She brought us some oranges to eat and they were incredible. Their oranges fresh off the tree can't be beat!
Calvin picked us up to drive back to Owerri. I continue to be fascinated by the amount of people that will line up on the road to sell their goods(oranges, bananas, handkerchiefs and more) to people in cars. And how crazy the driving is. We did get pulled over at one of the check points but they let us go without much trouble - just made him show his drivers license and open the trunk.
Then back to Owerri AND it started raining which means the weather is soooooooo much cooler. I was so flippin excited! Mare got us some drinks, Maltinas, which is something that everyone drinks around here. It's a malted beverage...Then her friend Richee came over and the three of us discussed business opportunities, the advantage of being an American, the difference between the faith of Africans and Americans and why it's harder for Richee to see things our way. It was a great conversation...but again it's interesting because here - they tell you what to think.
To be continued...

"Who’d a thought that this broken and fragile heart could be a well."

2008-10-29T18:55:00.007-04:00

Today we are leaving Owerri. I came to Nigeria to see Mary Ann as well as to scout out the area for our April 2009 Mission Trip where we will help dig a borehole and other things. We are headed to Onitsha which is where her friend Victory lives with her husband today and then tomorrow will come back through Ihiala, which is where the borehole will be constructed.
And we are traveling on our own. Calvin will be taking us to the bus park - which is where you buy tickets for which bus you want. Typically, busses are really 12 passenger vans that they pack full with people and stuff and they will stop at any time to pick up passengers! But this company, ITC(Imo Travel Center), have both 12 passenger vans and larger and they will only pick up in their official parks (very safe for 2 white girls to travel in). So Calvin helped us get our tickets and then we got the two front seats, which is good cause we weren’t packed in and we had plenty of air with the windows open.
And we headed north towards Onitsha by 10:30 a.m.…the road for awhile was pretty smooth and we passed a Disney Resort on the way out of town. There really was something called a Disney resort but the only person we have asked so far has no idea what Disney stands for to know if they are connected to “the” Disney. Let me know if you know!
These busses pass many locations where kids and adults swarm up to the car trying to sell water in bags, cashews, bananas, oranges, gari and more…and as soon as they saw me and Mare – they would yell “onji oncha”. So we would say “Good afternoon” and then say no to buying anything as they swarmed the van. It does seem that most of the people on these busses do buy snacks and cold drinks on the way pretty often though, but we didn’t.

We got to Onitsha by 1:00 p.m. – Victory came and picked us up in the ministry vehicle(van) with a driver. The traffic in Onitsha is even crazier than anything else I have seen. Cars, vans, people, motorcycles are all battling for space on thin roads. People carrying goods on their head and in their hands to sell to every open window they can find. AND potholes all over – so the cars swerve to miss them or drive slowly to go through them which throws off the traffic as well!

We headed to Victory’s house which is in the same compound as the church that her husband works at, which is pretty big. After a refreshing drink, we went with Victory to a local Catholic Seminary where she is teaching a weekly course on Aids/HIV Prevention awareness for pastors. Wow, that was interesting. It was another example of how different their culture is from ours. The men in the class were struggling with ideas that wouldn't even be an issue in the U.S. We spent the rest of the afternoon at her house – talking, napping, snacking…I have been fighting a cold most of this week and today it has felt the worst. So I welcomed a 1 ½ hour nap, I honestly felt like sleeping most of the day. I have to say though, it is crazy hot here! And even though there are fans in each room…it still feels stuffy. This is one of those times it would be so nice to get out of the skirt and wear comfy shorts! But not here in someone elses house! At 6:00 p.m. Victory said she was going to the revival in the compound – which started around 4:30 p.m. with very rousing music…so she brought out head coverings and Bibles for all 3 of us and we walked out. And as I am finding – we kind of create a bit of a disruption wherever we go…so we ended up in the best location to see the people, dancing, music and speaker. I was able to take some pics of the kids dancing. The music had a latin sound to it – but most of it was in Igbo so I don’t know what they were saying. This has been my favorite worship music experience so far. Their band had about 12 people in it! So fun! But 3 hours later after lots of prayer, preaching and singing – I was so hungry and so tired and still didn’t feel well. We finally left right before 10 p.m. One of the things in the Nigerian Culture is to make a full meal for your guests no matter what time it is, so at 10:30 or so, we were eating the dinner that Victory made for us. I jumped in the shower(yes, they had running water!) right before the generator went off at 11:00 p.m. (Their power(Nepa) wasn’t working last night). Got into bed and had one of the hardest nights I have had since I hiked on the Appalachian Trail…I think I was sweating constantly and just couldn’t sleep more than 30 minutes at a time. But I made it.

To the market...

2008-10-27T17:59:00.006-04:00

Woke up this morning at 6:30 a.m. and by 7:45 a.m. the fans came on!!! Yea!!! The cyber cafe opens at 8:00 a.m. so we benefit from the generator being turned on for that.
Today was a day that Mary Ann needed to run some errands and I wanted to go by the Assumpta Pastoral Centre. That is where I am planning on staying when we come back here in April to help dig a well. So Mary Ann, Chidinma and I got in the ministry car and headed into the crazy traffic. Basically, picture no rules - you can drive on the right or the left side of the road, even though they do seem to try to stay to the right, sort of. There are people walking across all the time and motorcycles weave in and out all the time. Whew. I don't know how Mary Ann does it...you have to be so aggressive! So we went straight to the bank to make a deposit and you have to go into the bank one at a time...and so Mare and Chidinma went in and then a man ran up to me and told me that someone was taking a tire off of our car!! So I went into the bank to tell Mare, so she and Chidinma went out and argued with the guys for awhile but the only way they would give the tire back was if she paid a fine. I've seen this happen in Nashville...but it's a little more difficult here.
So after they put the tire back on - we went to the Assumpta Pastoral Centre. It is beautiful!!! We will actually have running water(cold but running) with toilets and showers! There are bed nets over each bed and fans...but the landscape is gorgeous.
From there we went to the post office and then the market.
Mare wanted Chidinma to make egg stew with fish for us for lunch - so we got all the supplies. The market is just a huge collection of people selling meat, fish, eggs, vegetables, clothing and so much more!!! Trash is all over the ground and cars and motorcycles are driving through some of the streets, so you have to constantly watch where you are walking. But I loved it. It was so alive and every other person yelled out “white person” or something in English and I got another marriage proposal yelled across the way. Chidinma got a fish, tomato paste, curry spices and then we were on our way home! The traffic was pretty backed up so it took us awhile to get back home but then she started to cook for us.

Now I don’t know if many of you realize that there is very little refrigeration here. So you have to buy the food you need for a day or two and then go shopping again. Most stuff doesn’t last very long either because there are so few preservatives. So we ate her lunch at 2:30 and then ate the rest of it tonight…It was sooo yummy though. Fried Yams, Fried Plantains along with fried fish and egg stew…spicy and so good.

After that we had chapel on the 2nd floor of the ministry. Any students that are around come and the Vice president of the ministry leads it. Today was prayer time…which ended up being mainly about me. They sing a song called “ you are welcome in this place” which they sang at church yesterday and then again today in chapel and all the students came around and shook my hand… I had to cover my head again for this.

For the rest of this afternoon Mary Ann and I have read, discussed life, the Holy Spirit and the faith culture in Nigeria. Then we watched a movie on Netflix. Mare hasn't seen many movies recently...we got almost all the way through "Superbad" (maybe not the best choice of a movie) until the last 10 minutes and then the internet connection stopped. Oh well.

I've enjoyed our evening together...now she is falling asleep waiting for me to finish on here so she can write her blog as well...

Oh - we are heading out of town for a night - so prayers for our travel!

The Methodist Church of Nigeria...and more.

2008-10-26T17:13:00.005-04:00

Church in Nigeria. Supposed to go from 9:00 a.m. to noon. (Pretty much everything starts on Nigerian time here – which is whenever they get around to it) We showed up at 10:00 a.m. and they had just begun the service. Women and girls have to wear dresses that go to your knees and wear a head covering…and Mare has a couple traditional dresses which she wore today.

They sing hymns and have a youth praise band that helps lead a few songs throughout the morning. Lots and lots of songs throughout – the pastor would break into song while praying and while preaching. And every time the pastor yelled “Hallelujah” most of the congregation would shout “Amen”! It happened quite a bit. I have to be perfectly honest – I almost fell asleep about 10 different times. It was so hard to sit there for so long! And I really only slept about 6 hours in the past 2 days…but it was kind of funny too. What is interesting is that there were many other people nodding off at different times as well, especially after the power went out. No fans = warm sleepy people.
The two pastors lead the congregation in intercessory prayer about 2 hours into the service and had all the youth come forward first. Well, Mare and I both qualify as youth because we aren’t married or mothers. So that was pretty interesting – the two of us with about 20 students, that would be really hard for me all the time because there isn’t a place here for an adult woman who isn’t married. Then they prayed for the mothers and then the fathers. Lots of "Amens". They also had first time people come forward – so me and 3 others came forward to receive a handkerchief made of pure cotton (because we are all the same in the Body of Christ) and get more prayer. It was a very passionate and moving experience.

After about another hour of announcements they had the last of 3 opportunities to give an offering. They started singing this praise song and dancing and then the people started moving forward to give their offering in a box that is labeled with "Offering" on one side and "giving" on the other. It was fun to watch every person pass by dancing and singing. What I didn't realize is that they were all going up row by row, so when Mare tried to hand me money so that I could go forward - I tried to tell her I wasn't going to go up. But then she pointed out that everyone was going...so I did! It was a little awkward...walking with a beat but I think I managed okay.

I hate to say it but finally after 30 more minutes of announcements the service ended with the choir processing out...

We were invited by the Methodist Diocese Bishops wife to come over for a cold drink and "Kola". Kola nuts are given as gifts to visitors entering a home, usually with some formal ceremony...Mary Ann and the girls presented Kola with a prayer to me yesterday when I first arrived. They ended up making us lunch and also gave us the fabric that she had made for the 20 year celebration of the Methodist Church in Owerri. I am including a picture of the fabric wrapped around me - they made clothing out of this material for all of the committee. And some of them make skirts to wrap around them. I have it on like a toga but they would actually have both shoulders and chest completely covered. I was so moved when she gave it to us though. I think she and her husband were impressed that Mare and I both group up in the United Methodist Church.

Mare and I headed back to GCM at 3:00 p.m. so she could unlock the doors to the cyber cafe. Then we both took about an hour and a half nap...it was lovely! We went for a walk this evening to get eggs and tea. It is crazy to think that most of the people that saw us, only see white people about 2 times a year normally. So most of them try to say "Good evening" or "onji oncha" which means white person to us...they have all be very polite though. But it's funny to be a spectacle. We walked to get part of our dinner from a street vendor - a meat that is cooked over a fire called Suja. A little like beef jerky but much chewier. I was having a hard time with the first piece cause I kept chewing and didn't really get anywhere with it. I said...it was a little like chewing gum cause it didn't break up at all. And Mare made her 2nd quote of the day, "You keep chewing and it just keeps getting bigger". We thought that was pretty funny at the time. Not really sure what part of the cow we were eating...but it was spicy and good. On our way back from getting some Suja, we walked around the back of the neighborhood. Clouds were rolling in for the evening storm and I could see beyond the buildings to the green landscape...it was an incredible sight. To see the contrast of color and light with the dark and then the contrast of that beauty with the extreme poverty and trash right in front of us. I mentioned how beautiful and hard it all looked...and Mary Ann said, "Yeah, it's like where Heaven meets Hell". So true and heartbreaking. I tried to take a picture of the sky once we got back to the GCM building but it's not the same as what I saw. We ate our Suja on the front step and were joined by 3 very young kids...probably 4-6 years old. They talked with us and played and then sang close to 8 songs about Jesus. This area is very Christian. There is no separation of church and state so even their t.v. shows are about hearing the Holy Spirit talk and then a rap song...it is very interesting. So after we played with the kids...we have been upstairs...talking, me on the internet and just being in the same room together.

Good day.

"Are you too hot for tea?"

2008-10-26T14:55:00.004-04:00

Mary Ann has drinks hot tea here every morning and evening, so she offered me tea last night and I said it was too hot for tea. So this morning she asked me..."Are you too hot for tea?" Pretty funny.
Today has flown by. I went to bed last night around midnight and fell asleep immediately but woke up before 6:00 a.m. Mary Ann turned the generator off around 12:30 a.m. so eventually I was just so hot and sticky...so I laid there for about an hour and listened to the world around me start moving. There were four kids outside singing and playing and car horns and at some point someone started play praise and worship music - loudly out of a neighboring window. Oh, and many roosters crowed but not till 8:00 a.m. Crazy animals.

I spent some time reading Rob Bell's new book Jesus wants to save Christians and then it was time to get water for the day. Mary Ann has help with this during the week but on the weekends she has to get her own water. They have a spigot out back that the neighbors all use to fill their buckets or jugs - and most Nigerians carry them on their head! (I am going to try to take pictures of all the amazing things they carry on their head - I just haven't been bold enough yet). We both had the joy of carrying two 40 pound water jugs up 3 flights stairs...to fill their water barrel. Then it was time for a shower, which means that you fill up a small bucket and stand in the tub and wash. We ate poptarts and then it was time for church...so we got into the ministries car. Mary Ann navigated through the crazy traffic here in high heels and traditional dress to get us to the Methodist Church of Nigeria.

Traveling to Nigeria

2008-10-25T18:25:00.005-04:00

I already have had sooo much stuff happen over the last 30 hours since I left Pensacola… so I am going to try to get it all in before something else happens (like my “shower” with a bucket of water).

First flight out of Pensacola was delayed because of weather in Atlanta and then we were held in a waiting pattern because the visibility going into Atlanta was at ½ mile…just imagine lots of bouncing and turbulence.
I still had a couple of hours to spend in Atlanta so I walked all over – talked to family and friends and then sat in the E terminal waiting for my 11 hour flight to Lagos with a variety of other people. I LOVE walking around the E Terminal because that is where most of the international flights board. I like to watch the people and try to figure out where they are from…
Then we board the plane. It wasn’t the biggest plane I have ever been on – we didn’t have our own t.v.’s but it was still pretty big. The flight was not full so we almost all had an extra seat between everyone which is always nice when you are going to be together for so long. I watched “Swing Vote” around 2:00 a.m. and then attempted to sleep – but about 10 minutes into my nap our absolutely huge plane dropped about 3-5 feet. Not far…but enough that a prayer service almost started up all around me. Most of us had been sleeping/resting so as they were startled out of the rest they made a lot of noise. It was pretty fascinating. Actually at the time I scrunched up my eyes and tried to breathe so that my heartbeat would slow down, but now that I think about it, it was fascinating.
After that I never really got to sleep, I did nap after the second movie (The Visitor) but only off and on.
I loved flying into Lagos- this part of Nigeria is very, very lush and green and all of the buildings are painted bright colors. It is definitely not a wealthy area but it was still beautiful to look at the blend of colors…Okay, then we land in Lagos. I got through customs with no problems and only one comment about how “If I visited here for 2 weeks, then I would be sure to find a Nigerian husband”. Seems to be a common comment here. I got my suitcase and walked outside where I was asked about every 3 minutes if I needed a taxi. I was supposed to wait for Victory’s friend Max and he was going to help me get a taxi so I could get to their domestic airport, he wasn’t there when I walked outside. I kept telling all of the “taxi drivers” that I had a ride, a friend is coming but they would still ask every few minutes. Then they started to offer their phone so I could call my “friend”. I finally borrowed one of their phones after waiting for about 40 minutes to call Mary Ann to see if Max was still coming or if I missed him. She said he was definitely coming and that she really didn’t want me to try to get a taxi without him. So…then Mr. Phone Loaner starts asking me for money since I used his phone. Blech. I hate that kind of stuff. So I told him that I wasn’t going to give him any money because he didn’t tell I would have to pay him AND I need the little money I had for my taxi. And THEN he asked me if he could have my number so that we could start talking and he would be willing to fly me back to Nigeria in December. HA! So I lied to him and I told him I didn’t think my boyfriend would appreciate it if I handed out my number to other men. Dang, I don’t know how Mary Ann puts up with that on a daily basis.
Max got there another hour later – that’s a whole other story – and he personally escorted me to the other airport where I caught my domestic flight to Owerri. He was very nice and it was great to know that I could trust him…so I made the airport transition pretty well.

I was greeted at the Owerri airport by Mary Ann and 2 other girls and one of the guys that helps around the ministry. It was sooo good to see Mary Ann! They had to start the car by pushing it in the parking lot – and then we started the 40 minute drive to Global Christian Ministries, where Mary Ann lives. Okay, I imagine the driving here is a lot like it would be in India – very reckless, no order, people swerve all over the road to avoid potholes that tiny to potholes that could be a swimming pool! We passed about 60 ministries and some of them were already having tent services for the evening. Again, the tents and clothing is very, very colorful. I wanted so badly to take pictures of all the people walking down the street with all sorts of stuff balanced on their heads! Bags, boxes, jars…it is incredible. But there were already plenty of people paying attention to the fact that there were 2 white girls in this vehicle so I didn’t want to draw any more attention to us. But I am just going to have to get over that because there are going to be 2 white girls traveling quite a bit this week…oh and, we got pulled over two different times. I don’t really don’t know why. They both looked like checkpoints and they must randomly make people pull over but it didn’t take long either. (Okay, I know more about the checkpoints but will write more later).
Last but not least, some of the girls made us dinner tonight – it was something that tasted like spicy Spanish rice and then beef jerky. Mary Ann warned me that they don’t really know what is in the meat…but it didn’t taste too badly.
Tonight- I have been chatting and hanging out with Mary Ann in her apartment. The weather here is a lot like Pensacola’s weather in August and then there isn’t any air conditioning…so we have lots of fans on!!!

Okay – going to bed…it’s 11:22 p.m. here…miss you all!

Anti-Malarial Pills

2008-10-24T01:00:00.003-04:00

So I took my first of 16 Malarone - it's a round pink tablet and it's not too big. Have to take it with food and per the side effects warnings - if I throw it up in an hour then I should just take another one. Sweet.
I actually took it at 1:00 p.m. after I ate lunch because if I am going to throw up then I want it to be worth the effort. Okay, not really, I took it then because I have to take these at the same time every day and 1:00 p.m. here is 7:00 p.m. in Nigeria.

And no horrible side effects.

So far.

Anyways, I leave tomorrow at 11:00 a.m. to begin my one week journey to Nigeria. I will fly to Atlanta - hang out there for about 3 1/2 hours and then fly to Lagos, Nigeria. I have been instructed to get off the plane and stay to the right when I go through customs. After I am allowed into the country I will walk out of the Lagos International Airport to be found, greeted and escorted by a young man, whose name I will not tell you yet. He will get a taxi for me. Before I get in the taxi with him though - he will have to call Victory(Mary Ann's good friend) so that we can confirm that he is actually the Max that I am supposed to go with. We will get into the taxi and head to the Lagos Domestic Airport and then I will leave this wonderful young man and get on a Nigerian Virgin flight to Owerri.

Owerri. I imagine it to be hot. Hot and busy. I will be staying with Mary Ann at the Ministry that she is working at...third floor apartment - here I come! No running water! I am not a big fan of being hot, dirty, sweaty all the time but I can deal with it if I have to.

I will access to Mary Ann's internet so I will be able to update this blog while I am there...I hope to put some pics on her.

I really don't know what this week will hold. I know that I will go to the orphanage. I will go to the village where we will help dig a well in April. I will meet lots of people. I will hang out with Mary Ann. I will have a hard time understanding others and being understood. I will laugh a lot. And I will be changed.

Thanks for your prayers and love!

Sitting with my dad...

2008-09-26T11:38:00.003-04:00

Dad and I are both in the kitchen. I just ate some popcorn and he is working on his carbo- loading(bread with butter at the moment). He is playing his lute - which he ordered this past spring and is already very good. Very good as in - can play many of his Bach guitar pieces but on the lute. I wish I could paint the entire picture - not really for anyone else but so I can remember this moment...It is the coolest thing to watch.

My morning started on the back deck with a cup of coffee and the Ohio paper - and then dad and I watched a cricket enjoying the sun on the deck, that is till dad poked it with a leaf and it hopped off. Hopped off the deck about 15 feet to their ravine in the back yard. We discussed McCain/Obama, John Eldredge, music, Nigeria and so much more.

Now we are going to meet my sister at her office at Akron Univ. and then get our numbers for the Akron Marathon/Marathon Relay.

work? Nah...

2008-09-09T14:57:00.003-04:00

Working. I am just not in the mood. What do people who have "real jobs" do on a day like this? I will get some more stuff done today but I am having a real hard time staying motivated. And it's even stuff that I want to do - planning a trip to Africa AND setting up the entire Sr High Retreat...

I think I get like this every Tuesday because by the time staff meeting is over and we all go get lunch together...I have processed my full amount of words for the day! We speak a lot at lunch. :)

And I have so many things to distract me - possible movie watching options, facebook, twitter, staring into space...okay, I don't really do the last one often but I could!

Oh - AND, yesterday I felt like I was in the scene from "Office Space" where dude keeps getting asked if he got the memo's for TPS reports...by people who have nothing to do with his job! Yeah, we get blanket staff emails here when one person doesn't do what they are supposed to, which was me this time. So we all enjoyed a couple of emails reminding us how to gas and clean up the vans and buses when we use them. Which we all know. I just ran out of time after the mid high retreat. It happens. I was making sure that the correct students got picked up by the correct adults with their suitcases! And then had a string of meetings...again, it happens.

Dom Portwood: Hi, Peter. What's happening? We need to talk about your TPS reports.
Peter Gibbons: Yeah. The coversheet. I know, I know. Uh, Bill talked to me about it.
Dom Portwood: Yeah. Did you get that memo?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah. I got the memo. And I understand the policy. And the problem is just that I forgot the one time. And I've already taken care of it so it's not even really a problem anymore.
Dom Portwood: Ah! Yeah. It's just we're putting new coversheets on all the TPS reports before they go out now. So if you could go ahead and try to remember to do that from now on, that'd be great. All right!

Nigerian Mission Experience

2008-08-28T18:13:00.003-04:00

For the past week I have spent a lot of time looking up information about taking a small group on a short term missions trips. I have never put together a trip(never mind a missions trip) for my students that wasn't organized by a ministry in some way. This is going to be an adventure...

It has already taken my breath away and I have only had permission to do it for a little over a week!

I am hoping to take 7 of my 11th-12th grade students to Owerri, Nigeria in April of 2009. We will connect with Mary Ann who is serving in Owerri for about 11 months. We have to raise about $3000 per person to just get to Owerri for the week. But once we get there - look out!

The amount of ways that we will be able to serve is innumerable. We will be able to hold orphans at the Motherless Babies Home, we might be able to lead a VBS or just hang out and play with children in the streets and if we are able to raise $10,063 - then we will be digging a well!!!

We will be part of bringing clean water to a community that does not have easy access to water. Mary Ann lives in a building with internet and she has to carry buckets of water in to just flush the toilet!

I just read a blog from a church that did a mission trip this past April. They brought books and worked on building up a library in Owerri. In the blog they mention a desire to help build a playground for the Nigerian Red Cross Orphanage called the Motherless Babies Home.

Okay Father, what are you stirring up in me? I ask right now that you help me hear your voice as I try to figure out what I am supposed to do to worship You through this experience. How do I help this community and these children know Your touch. Help me to hear because I want to "do" so much. Be with Mary Ann right now as she is surrounded by so much need and feels like she isn't "doing" very much. Help all of us that know her story and get to know the children's stories open our hearts to bring You to them. Through water, laughter, touch and whatever else You provide for them.

Could we raise money for a playground? Why not?

I am actually going to go to Owerri in either October or November of this year to scout out the area but I also want to be able to serve as much as possible while I am there. I have two friends that are praying about going with me and if they do - could we start the playground?

As I mentioned before - this trip has already taken my breath away. We already have $4000 for a well. And there are members of my church that are going to try to sponsor some of the students going on the trip in the Spring. There is such an excitement and a feeling of possibility surrounding this little mission experience.

And I.
I am just along for the ride.

Please be in prayer for me and for the members of this trip. They haven't been selected yet - so we don't know who it is going to be and won't for another month!

Triathlon in my future???

2008-08-14T10:19:00.003-04:00

I have talked for a couple of years about trying a triathlon - and then I never really get around to actually signing up for one. Well, I am seriously going to start training for the Santa Rosa Tri on October 3rd on Pensacola beach.

My unknowns about this are the transitions between the swim to bike and then the bike to running...what do I wear...how do I fuel myself...can I swim in the Gulf??? Yikes.

I finally feel like I can really run again. How far? I don't know how far but I can do about 3 miles at this point. I have gone running 3 times in the past 5 days...I have run before but then I wait a whole month before I run again.

So it's time to train.
Running.
Swimming.
Biking.

Let's see what happens!
Yikes again!

Taking a walk...

2008-08-10T23:09:00.002-04:00

I have begun to walk in the evenings. Not long walks and normally after 8:00 p.m. but just time for me to get out and think. I have found lately that if I don't remove myself from my couch in the evening - I will typically spend most of the time watching one of my netflix movies or tv shows...and spending way too much time online. I really haven't been blogging or journaling much anymore and I think part of it has been that I don't give myself time to process my thoughts.

I used to run outside at least 3 days a week...and even if I was out there with a friend, I had time to process. I am starting to run more often now that my feet are doing better but I am still picking the air conditioned gym over being outside in the Florida humid summer heat.

Walking outside after the sun is down is giving me a chance to breathe again. It's a weird feeling to be out there by myself in the shadows, random cars pass me and I can see people moving around in their houses...they have no idea I am walking past their house at that moment.

I've been surprised by feelings and memories each time I am out there. I think of people that I want to connect with or remember how I reacted recently in a way that I am not proud of - or wherever else my brain takes me in the moment.

Tonight, the moon isn't not very bright. There are clouds out and it just seems so peaceful. I was thinking about how much I still want to do in my life. My dreams. And how so often I feel overwhelmed by what is undone...and I want to help by improving some of the little things that can make a big difference in this world. Also about how I love being single because I really, really can do what I want. I feel like I am better at everything that I do because I am not connected to anyone in anyway... But I also long to find a man who will love me and challenge me and walk with me.

I think I am getting older. And I like it.

Passion

2008-08-08T18:35:00.002-04:00

What am I most passionate about?

The word Passionate (from dictionary.com):
[pash-uh-nit] –adjective

1.	having, compelled by, or ruled by intense emotion or strong feeling; fervid: a passionate advocate of socialism.

2.	easily aroused to or influenced by sexual desire; ardently sensual.

3.	expressing, showing, or marked by intense or strong feeling; emotional: passionate language.

4.	intense or vehement, as emotions or feelings: passionate grief.

5.	easily moved to anger; quick-tempered; irascible.

Okay, so passionate. Well, which minute? My passions change depending on what is right in front of me.
Example -
One minute I am concerned about world hunger and how I can make a difference but then I get distracted by my lunch time.

Do our passions stay the same? There are so many things to learn about and to believe in and to take a stand about...how do you decide? Or are we just automatically passionate about one thing? My sister is passionate about animals in a way that I could never learn to. I know after the 30 Hour Famine this week many of my students are determined to make a difference now that they know that they actually can. So will they remain passionate about eradicating world hunger?

Okay, but I get away from what I am passionate about.

I know that I am passionate about:
Living life to the fullest.
Listening for God's voice in the middle all the other voices.
Being real.
Communicating well so that I am really heard.
Helping others find themselves.
Making a difference in this world for good.
Learning from my own and others mistakes.
Making time to really see or hear another person's story.

I get passionate(or frustrated) when people misunderstand me or get confused by my actions - Good or bad. I don't like to be misunderstood.

I am passionate about letting my soul dance and rest...

Conundrums...

2008-06-18T11:21:00.004-04:00

I haven't written much lately.

I think I have so much going on that I don't even know where to start.

Beginnings.
Possibilities.
Endings.
Consistency.
Hope.
Fear.
Falling.
Looking up.
Letting go.
Adventure.
Stillness.
Frustration.
Love.

These are all words that I have encountered in the past couple of months. Making decisions about life can be hard when you consider all the people that can be impacted...for good or for bad. When I make a decision for myself - is it the right one? How does a person know? You are never guaranteed anything...except for the fact that life does keep going and change will happen...

I still love to breathe deep.
Keep my eyes open.
Have great conversations.
and trust...

Expect...

2008-06-12T09:28:00.000-04:00

Life.
~Expect insecurities
~expect conflict
~expect forgiveness
~expect conversation
~expect to carry
~expect to be carried
~expect hope
~expect fear
~expect a kind touch
~expect a hard word
~expect to be hungry
~expect to serve
~expect to be served
~expect laughter
~expect tears
~expect a hug
~expect to breathe deep
~expect to lean
~expect lessons
~expect to lead

Mmmmm...

2008-03-29T22:38:00.001-04:00

The soul loves silence because it is shy, and silence helps it feel safe. The soul loves laugher because it seeks truth, and laughter often reveals reality. But above all, the soul loves life, and both silence and laughter are life-giving.

—Parker J. Palmer

What are you created to do?

2008-03-26T23:13:00.003-04:00

If you were to list 5 things that you were created to do, what would they be?

Would it be what you do?
What you enjoy?
What kind of family you have?
How you experience life?

I asked my 12 middle school students to do this today and I was blown away by their responses...
"I was created to":
pray, help others, listen, love, be a girl, share God's love, laugh, dance to honor God, create music, live, learn, write, leave a legacy and so much more!

For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.
Ephesians 2:10

And then, tonight - my Sr High Group discussed prayer and intimacy with God...our Abba.
All I have to say is that I love my job. I get to share in some of their deepest joys, fears and hopes. Me. More adults need to get this opportunity because it absolutely changes me and blows me away every time. Every time.

That's all.

Wandering...

2008-03-20T22:47:00.003-04:00

Truth.
Most of us don't want to face it.
Most of us try to convince ourselves that what we want to believe is truth.
What we want.
To believe.

To even utter the truth is scary.

We all want to be happy.
To feel happy.

But to wallow in it.

But is there anyone who is really happy?

Really?

Is it possible to be really happy all the time?

Why do we think or expect that is possible?
I'm thinking that life is supposed to experienced.
Lived.
Love others.

Why are we so selfish.
Why do we make things about us?
Why is it so flippin hard to actually do things for others?

Truth.
We want everything to be for us. But life is really more about us serving others.
Hmmmmm...

Heading to spend time with my dad...

2008-03-09T22:20:00.002-04:00

I am on my way to St. Louis tomorrow morning. Dad is presenting at the National Conference on Juvenile Justice on Tuesday. Mom called me over a month ago with a "crazy" idea - that I should join dad in St. Louis and I got permission to do it! I wish I could take advantage of every opportunity to spend time with my family like this.
We are staying in the Renaissance Grand and Suites downtown and I can't wait to eat and shop and learn...
Flying out at 6:20 a.m.

Letting go...

2008-03-05T11:20:00.003-05:00

How much of life is about letting go? I feel like I am learning how to let go all the time.

I have been planning on running in the Country Music 1/2 marathon all year. I've run it the past 4 years...so nothing new about that plan.

But the difference this year is that I have had two major surgeries on my feet. But the 1/2 marathon in Nashville was like a goal, a beacon if you will, for me to focus toward throughout all the months that I couldn't even walk.

I signed up for this marathon two weeks ago and encouraged other friends of mine here in Pensacola to sign up as well. (Which means that I have a 1/2 marathon registration that I would love to sell to someone).

And now I am not running it.

I am not ready. This second surgery has taken longer to recover from. I've had trouble with my ankle and calf too. And if I am honest the first foot has toes that are moving back to where they were pre-surgery. Yeah. Good times.

But I will run again. I actually did today. The first time since December 19th. A little over a mile...took me about 12 minutes...nice and slow.

I loved it. And my foot and ankle are doing fine.

The Country Music 1/2 marathon was the first long run that I ever did. And I would like to run it as long as I can get there and can run. But not this year.

Letting go.

Texting and cars...

2008-02-19T09:10:00.005-05:00

I went and saw the movie Jumper last night with 3 of my friends. A few of us are trying to catch a movie on Monday nights before 6:00 p.m. so we can get in before the price goes up. It's been fun to rush and meet each other...ANYWAYS.
Before I left the theater I stopped and parked again to text one of my students and get a number for a sushi place, cause I was craving sushi...smoked salmon roll and a tuna roll...yum. I am trying to be more intentional to not text and drive cause as good as I think I am - I am really not that good. So my student found the number, texted it to me and I dialed and proceeded to leave the theater. I turned onto a 3 lane road and went straight over to the left lane because there weren't any cars around at that point and I figured I would be ready for my future left hand turn...about 5 seconds later as I am placing my order for sushi - I notice a car going in the opposite direction start to slow down and proceed to do a U-turn and it didn't look like the car was going to stop and wait for me to pass. Now all of this happened s-l-o-w m-o-t-i-o-n but I quit talking to the woman on the phone and proceed to speed up - not slow down. I don't know if it is because I just watched a high paced movie and felt like I was a character in the movie but I sped up and swerved a bit to the right and managed to avoid being creamed on the left hand side of my car. The lady on the phone said "Sushi will be ready in 15 minutes" and I said thanks and dropped the phone. Double checked the fact that there were NO other cars around and watched the car behind me to make sure it didn't charge me again. My pulse was RACING and I kept thinking...I just sped up! If I had slowed down...I would have been hit.
At the next stop light I made sure my lights were on because maybe the car didn't see me but they were on and then I just shook my head in amazement at the entire 15 second process where life could have been so different.
They were probably texting someone...
It's a good thing I was only on the phone. Ha.

Movie Nights with friends...

2008-02-13T23:01:00.004-05:00

I have a new tradition that happens everyone Thursday night at my house. For the past 2 1/2 years I have had friends over to watch movies and make dinner together.
We pick the movie based on what kind of food we want to make OR pick the food based on the movie we want to watch. As in, if we want to watch Yentl, then we would make Jewish foods(no one has requested that movie by the way - even though it is one of my favorites - sigh.)

My friend Stacy loves to cook and so we talked about doing this a couple of years ago and it has become one of my favorite things to do with people.
The food is fantastic. And the movies have been great!
Recently we have watched:
The Believer
Once
Danny Deckchair
Eagle vs. Shark
Like water for chocolate
The Secret Life of Words
The science of Sleep
Tsotsi
Water
Saint Ralph
Paper Clips

And more. We make the food together, we laugh, we talk, we drink, we eat and then we watch a movie. Life is good.
Tomorrow night? We are making pizza's and watching Rocket Science.

Getting off the bus...

2008-02-13T22:11:00.004-05:00

I just realized that I haven't shared that my roommate, Mary Ann is going to Africa this June to work with HIV/Aids Education and to work with kids who have been orphaned for an entire year through UMVIM(United Methodist Volunteers in Mission).

We watched the movie Hotel Rwanda almost 1 1/2 years ago and she looked at me and said, "I have to do something, I can't just sit here." Well, it wasn't that verbatim but it was along those lines. And now, she is going. She has a HUGE heart and is living out what she believes is her call to give her time, her love, her touch and so much more to others especially children. Please go to her blog to read more about why she is going and what is happening in Kenya these days.

The reason why I am writing this is because she is still trying to raise money and awareness about her trip over there and I thought that some of you would be interested in following her story over the next year...

So invite her to come speak and help her raise the $15,000. The other crazy thing is that while she is at Nakuru UMC they are going to try to raise money for 4 dormitories that cost $12,500 each and part of her desire is to take some of that money with her. I think she can! And we can help her do it.

She had a local write up in the Pensacola Real Estate News today, which is very exciting!

I am enjoying watching this story unfold.

Praying for you, Mare!

February 12, 2008 thoughts...

2008-02-12T22:36:00.003-05:00

So it's pretty much the middle of February in 2008.
5 years ago I was packing and organizing and getting ready to hike 183 days on the Appalachian Trail. I was also falling in love.
The Appalachian Trail was incredible.
My heart was broken a couple of times over the next year or so.

I am 31 years old and I can't believe that time goes by so quickly.

I grow more and more in love with the students and families that I work with.

I saw 27 Dresses last night with a friend. It was pretty funny. Man, the main character was awkward! I love it when I walk out of a movie pleasantly surprised...but it also has got me thinking about life and everything that life is.

I am reading through the Psalms for Lent. And going to the gym for a minimum of 5 days a week. Yesterday my readings were incredible. Right on. Today, they were repetitive.

Some days suck.
Some days are so beautiful I can't breathe it all in enough.

As one of my friends wrote about a week ago - it really has more to do with connecting with our God and realizing the place we have in this world alongside others. Some of us need to encourage, while others need encouragement. Some of us need to talk, while others need to listen. Some of us need to rest, while others need to experience.

Life. It's different for all of us. But we all make an impact with every decision we make.

Whirlwind...

2008-01-28T16:35:00.000-05:00

I drove out of Pensacola last Monday morning at 4:40 a.m. - heading east on I - 10 to be in Daytona Beach before 1:00 p.m. This was my first long drive in my new (old) car and it was also the longest drive I have done since my left foot surgery. I made it down in plenty of time - was even able to have lunch with Doug at Boston Market!
I was in Daytona Beach to take my 2nd class from Huntington University for 3 days. 3 pretty long days of lecture and it was FANTASTIC! Steve Gerali is my professor and the class is "Issues in Adolescence". I was the only girl in the class which actually turned out to be really fun - especially in a class where you are mainly talking about puberty - including erections and periods and all the other things that come with being an adolescent. I feel like I learned so much!
Most of the time in the church it seems that we perpetuate an image of what a "good christian" should look like. And some of my kids do fit in that mold - but what about the rest of the students that are involved and are trying to figure God out and ask hard questions and don't just take everything that leaders say as truth? Are they not Christian? We are learning more and more about brain development in adolescents and part of where they are in the later years of adolescence is that they need to question...they need to have a place where they can ask hard questions and wrestle with what is true for them. They need this for their brain development! And the church wants to tell them what the answers are and expect them to buy into it...so then when they go away to college??? They figure out that most of the "answers" that the church has given them - don't work or aren't true but they are safe and they decide that Christianity isn't for them. Sigh...I want to be part of a community that tries really hard to change this...So I am praying for God to help me to continue to see all my students through His eyes...and to love them where they are.

It was a great class and we were finished on Wednesday by 1:00 p.m.

Then I got back on the interstate and eventually back to I-10 to head west towards Panama City Beach. I am part of a 7 person committee that puts together a weekend retreat called Meltdown for about 50 churches in Northeast Florida/South Alabama churches. Mostly United Methodist but other denominations come as well. The committee met together on Wednesday with many other volunteers for the weekend AND Big Stuf Productions and we started to get all the details for our weekend together. I had a great time at Meltdown this time - we average about 1500 students and adults and every year we are always amazed at how everything comes together.
This year I was in charge of the speaker and the prayer room. Our theme this year was "Go" which was to encourage the students to look at their lives and see where they could GO and share the good news of Jesus Chrits. We had Mark Oestreicher this year and he was right on...this is his only student speaking engagement for the year and as of a couple weeks ago, it might be his last student speaking engagement ever. He is trying to eliminate things in his life that he doesn't have to do so that he can stay home more with his family. Which is fantastic.
Steve Fee did our worship again for the second time - and did a great job as well. He is getting better and better at engaging the students in his songs - good stuff.

The other thing that I was in charge of was the prayer room. I have spent the last year trying different prayer stations on my students and trying to find resources from other events and people who have been using prayer stations in their events and ministries. I picked 21 stations and was able with LOTS of help to actually have 18 stations in the room - I think all of them worked pretty well. I will do a write up of them later one.
I do want to say thanks to Gavin Richardson for his worship room at Youth 2007 - because he gave me permission to use some of his worship experiences for this room!
I got back to the church from Meltdown yesterday around 3:30 and just stayed till UMY started at 6:00 p.m.
Now I am planning for SuperBowl stuff, Ash Wednesday, Lenten Services and our youth fundraiser on February 8th~
And then I am going to sleep for a couple of days.
It's been good though -

Life...it's interesting, huh?

2008-01-06T19:25:00.000-05:00

Mom left yesterday morning to head back to Ohio. She and Dad came down a couple of days before my surgery and then my sister and her husband joined us for a week over Christmas. We had a great week together on the beach - they got to run, walk and we all played. I love my family.
Mom stayed an extra week after J., P. and dad went back - we had a really good time together. Albeit, we watched bunches of t.v. and while I kept my foot elevated but it was good to just be together...
After church today I went to lunch with some friends and then had to get home to put my foot up again. I can handle about 2 hours of it down but then it's definitely time to rest. So laying down with my foot on two pillows it is...
This afternoon I read a lot - mostly online - news around the world, friends blogs all over this country...it is heartbreaking to read the news of the genocide in Kenya or about the kids that have been sold by their parents in Iraq. There is so much that most of just keep ignoring and it's hard knowing that I have so much but so many are struggling to just survive. Another one that was hard to read was the story of the 24 year old hiker in Georgia. She went out on New Years Day with her dog and disappeared that day - there was an older man that some people saw hiking with her and it's believed that he stole her wallet and possible physically injured her.
I have been out hiking by myself so many times and have run into so many other people while out there...I hate that the freedom of hiking...the freedom of life is slowly being taken away by selfish people...and we have so much in this country!
BUT the last blog I read is one of my friends that I met in Nashville. Amelia and her husband, Scott, are co-blogging about their experience of adopting their second son in Guatemala - WOW! It has been such a blessing to read their story. Their honesty and beauty and love for each other and their sons because of the love they've received from Christ. It's amazing. And lives are being changed for good because they are living truth.

It's times like this that I want to do more. I want to make a bigger difference. And I am probably a little more frustrated because I can't do much right now...but I guess I can still offer up my life - to be a little more honest, a little more real, a little more loving, a little more adventurous...but right now it is a time for me to rest and to heal. And that is good. Now. More to come later...

2007

2007-12-31T13:27:00.000-05:00

1/2 marathon's - Four
Foot surgeries - Two
Trips home - Two
Skiing in Utah with friends - One
Times mom came to visit me in FL - Three
Times I got to see my sister and dad - Three
Heartache - One
Hiking Trip - One
North Carolina - Three
Austin, TX with my roommate - One
Thursday night dinners with friends - Too many to count
Great conversations - Many
Realization that I am loved - many
New Windows in my house - Five
Windows still needed - Eight
New Doors - One
Door still needed - One
Pounds lost - 7
Pounds gained - 11 - hehe.

I could keep going - but the list would be endless. I was trying to list the things that were big in my life this past year. Eh - it's amazing another year is over.
Blessings to all of you!

Christmas Eve...

2007-12-24T13:34:00.000-05:00

Just reflecting on how quickly 2007 has flown by. I had planned to run 10 1/2 marathons this year and only made it to four because of pain in my feet. I have had two major foot surgeries and am hoping to be able to run at least 4 1/2 marathons in 2008. My first one will be the Country Music 1/2 marathon in Nashville in April.

Just in case you haven't talked to me since my surgery this past thursday, I am doing pretty well. Most importantly - I haven't fallen!!!! My new Dr. (Paul Brooks) did decide to straighten my 2nd toe even though he wasn't going to to begin with. He did it differently then my first Dr.(Mark Lambart) - Lambert put an implant/pin in my 2nd and 3rd toes - so that they are straight now. Brooks cut my 2nd toe and fused the bones together and I currently have an external pin. He also did the bunionectomy and removed a floating piece of bone from the side of my foot that he thinks I broke off a year ago while running. Nice huh.
I thought this surgery was going to be less intensive than the last one but that's not the case. I may even have a longer recovery period. :/

Hope + Life + Death + Consistency

2007-12-18T17:55:00.000-05:00

I went to the hospital this afternoon to see a student that attempted to commit suicide last night. We were told that he might not make it, so Debra(she typically does hospital visits) met me at the hospital to find his room and hopefully offer up a prayer and just talk. I had NO idea what to expect as I walked into the room and I can't even tell you the joy and unnerving that I felt when I saw that he was hooked up to wires and his eyes were OPEN!
I haven't seen this guy for 5 1/2 to 6 years - he was in my children's ministry and then moved to Utah for a couple of years and I didn't even know he was back in town. The only reason he came to church as a kid was because his grandparents brought him every week.
What do you say to someone that was so done with life that he was willing to end it? How can anything that I have to say mean anything to him - I don't know the struggles that he goes through on a daily basis. At all.
I spent about 30 minutes with him and his grandmother and we talked about somethings that he enjoys doing now and what he has been struggling with the most these days...and I am going back to hang out with him for 2 hours tomorrow. What will we talk about? I don't think it matters. I am determined to help him realize that he is loved. He seemed to be pretty excited that I would want to come back and hang out with him at all...
Why do so many kids have families that don't know how to love them? Just for being themselves?
My prayer for him is that he realizes that he has worth. That he has worth and that he is loved so much so that he can share that love with others and not just need it for himself. My prayer for myself is that I can be available and an instrument of God's love but that I also have the wisdom to know how to help him be his own person and not depend on me or anyone for his self worth.
Ahhhh...the inadequacy that I feel right now. There are so many other students that I could name in my program on a regular basis that could end up right where he is...
Lord, wrap your able arms around them and fill them with your spirit.

'99 Honda Civic for Sale - yikes!

2007-12-09T22:40:00.000-05:00

I am going to sell my Honda Civic. It was the first car that I bought myself.

My parents bought me a brand new 1993 Plymouth Duster one month before my 17th birthday. It was one of the biggest surprises in my life - my family are not normally big gift givers so this one caught me completely off guard. That car was a standard, had 2 doors and a CD player. It died in the fall 0f 2001.
So I had it towed away and was given a HUGE van by a friend to drive until I bought a car.
Then I purchased my Honda in November 2001, used from Vince Whibbs and it has served me well for the past 6 years. I am hoping to get about $4500 - $5000 for it - it has about 116,000 miles and a couple of dents because of life and I will miss it.
The reason why I am writing this - is because I am actually scared of the selling process. I have NO idea how to do it or where to start! I replaced all the tires last month and have done some other work on it - and will have a tune up on the engine. I also hit a parked car with it 12 days ago and now it has a new hood, bumper and looks brand new from the front!
Sigh. I am going to miss this car.
I will have a car - I am buying my grandfather's 1997 Honda Accord with 56,000 miles...it's an honor to get his car. Sigh.
And...letting go...

Diocese split and Love

2007-12-08T21:58:00.000-05:00

I just read about the Fresno California Diocese that just split from the Episcopal church. They also just accepted an invitation to join the a conservative South American congregation of the Worldwide Anglican Communion. The Episcopal Church is the U.S. version of the global Anglican Communion.

Why did they split? This whole process began back in 2003 when the Episcopal church voted to allow an openly gay priest to be consecrated.

This whole process makes me a little sick to my stomach. If you go here you can read one of the articles. The reason why I picked this one is you get to see a good picture of the man that is leading this charge and below his picture it has a quote from him about leaving the Episcopal church so that they won't "risk moral decay."

Ummmmm...I don't know if I have the words right now to write out all of my thoughts about this whole process but can a man that doesn't take care of his body as a temple(1st Corinthians 6:19) start pointing fingers at others???
Pray about this and love well.

1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

breathing deeply

2007-12-06T22:48:00.000-05:00

I ran this afternoon with Denise. She started running about a year and four months ago - has completely followed the Jeff Galloway interval training program and ran 3 half marathons this past year with me and is now training to run her first full marathon in February. I say all of that to tell you that she ran her first 20 miles this past week. And she is doing fantastic. It's kind of humbling and irritating simultaneously. So she ran 6 miles on Tuesday and wanted to do about 4 miles with me to day.
Well, it was not my best run - we ran 2/1's (2 minutes running, 1 minute walking) at about a 11 minute pace. Which is about what I would run right now if I were doing a race. But I made it and I LOVE how my body feels right now. I am tired. A bit drained and it's amazing! I wish I could explain it better but if you've been there then you know what I mean.
I am 2 weeks away from my surgery and I am determined to feel this a couple more times before that day.

Picture Personality

2007-12-03T20:53:00.000-05:00

I took this personality test today. Pretty interesting!

Temperament Flexible
Nothing seems to bother you - you sail through life crisis free. It's not that your life doesn't have its ups and downs, it's just that you handle everything without unnecessary drama and antics. You approach each day fresh, not worrying about yesterday or tomorrow. You are confident that you can handle anything that comes your way and experience has shown that you are absolutely right about this.

InterestsThrill Seeker
You are interested in anything that is exciting and pleasurable. You're not afraid to indulge yourself - you live by your own set of rules and don't allow yourself to get hung on what others think. For the most part, you are independent and do whatever you please to do. Trying to stop you from doing something only makes you want it even more. At the end of the day - you live for life's most thrilling moments.

Amusement Adventurous
It's a good thing that you are filled with energy and ambitions (that others sometimes find exhausting) because you're continually looking for a new adventure and exciting experience. You struggle with a continual feeling of restlessness which constantly pushes you to the next level of excitement. Once you have accomplished one thing, you are eager to accomplish something more exciting, riskier and distinguishable.

Passion Emotional
For you passion is less about romance and sex - it's more about friendship and family. Strong emotional bonds and connections are your passion and your pleasure. You always let your loved ones know how much you love, respect and admire them. You do this through kind words, loving actions and simple gestures. You count your blessings each day and express your love openly. You expect the same from others.

Foot Feet running not yet

2007-12-03T11:31:00.000-05:00

I am having my second surgery on December 20th - so in a little over 2 weeks. I will be having a Bunion removed plus my doctor is going to cut a tendon in my second toe to relax it and remove an extra bone in the side of my foot. This surgery will be less intensive then the first one, which means I should recover quicker! Yea! The first one was a bunionectomy plus the removal of bones in my second and third toes and pin implants put in. Ick.

Anyways, while I was at the gym this morning - I was thinking through everything I have already been through with the first foot and how I am still healing from that one and am not completely sure the surgery that I had was the surgery that I needed. I hope all of this is worth it. I don't know of anyone else that has pain in the base of their 2nd toes because of their bunions. I don't have pain in the bunion. And the doctors aren't sure what to do with that. So I have 2 different doctors performing 2 different surgeries. My first doctor is sick himself and not available to do my second surgery.

Anyways, in these last two weeks of walking for awhile, I am trying to enjoy the fact that I can wear shoes and drive and get places on my own. I think I have a little more angst going into this surgery. I know what to expect. I can handle it. I have an amazing family that is coming down to spend the first couple of weeks with me. I have amazing friends and community around me that is willing to care for me. But it's still surgery on my foot which affects so much of day to day life.

This entire process has been such a learning experience for me. To let others care for me, that was a big first step. But also, when I am handicapped, it is only for a short period of time and there are others that will never have use of a foot or a hand or whatever. I am "getting my surgeries over with" while I am young.

Shoot even that these surgeries are paid for by my health care. HUMBLING!

I am ready to start training to run a half marathon again right now but I will have to wait till March. March. I want to train for the Nashville 1/2 marathon. Yep.

Integrity.

2007-11-25T23:32:00.000-05:00

I'm a youth minister.
I work with the most amazing youth on the planet.
With adults that I think believe that I am crazy but they stand with me.
I feel like a failure more than not.
After nights like tonight - I am not sure if I am any good at what I do.
Integrity.
How do you talk about integrity when God loves me in spite of my divided life.
When most adults don't talk about integrity on a regular basis.
Integrity.
Who you are when no one else is watching.
I know many people who have integrity in specific things but I don't know anyone who has integrity in most things.

Speeding
Eating
Movies
Internet
Words
tests
pens
relationships
what else?

I'm not sure what the answer is - but I also want to be as open about my lack of integrity as well as my intent to live a life of integrity. And I know I can't do it on my own.

Hiking AND being lazy...

2007-11-23T21:53:00.001-05:00

I got to go hiking this morning.
In the snow.
With my mom, sister and her husband.
Life is good.

It does seem hard to fit everything that we care about into such short periods of time. Hmmmm...

Running...

2007-11-22T21:42:00.000-05:00

I woke up this morning right before dad knocked on my door to let me know that the weather was in the 40's and that it might rain all morning. (I think he was thinking about not running, but don't tell him that). Anyways, we got dressed, drank some accelerade(dad's new favorite energy drink), got our extra layers on...I got my ipod all hooked up and we were off.

This is our third year to run the Gennesaret's 4-mile for the Homeless on Thanksgiving.
Gennesaret is an all-volunteer nonprofit that shelters homeless families and feeds the poor in Akron, Ohio since 1986. This is their yearly fundraiser - in it's 16th year and about 1500 runners participated last year! I think it is a great event!

The first year we ran, it was myself, dad and our friend Brandon. And that was the year we got to run in a blizzard and I was covered with ice by the time we finished. That was a crazy morning!

Last year, my sister,Julia, and her husband, some of his family and her friend Kate joined us and it couldn't have been better weather for a run.

Today - all the people from last year were there plus my cousin Ana and about 6 more family members and friends. We stood outside for about 20 minutes trying to stay warm as it sprinkled on us off and on. At 9:00 a.m. we immediately separated and I started off behind most everyone else with a nice slow jog. I was going to run my intervals today, a 5 minute run with a 1 minute walk, but once I started running I decided to just keep running. I felt pretty good throughout the run. I love the hills - I don't know if it's cause of all the hiking but I get energized when I run up hills and then I s-l-o-w down going down the hills...I am so cautious about how and where my foot is striking the ground that anyone I might have passed on the way up, can pass me easily on the other side. Both of my feet held up pretty well till I got to mile 3 and then they both ached a bit. I was also feeling a little hungry and weak because I came up the last big hill but I was quickly distracted from the pain when I passed Ana and happened to look over and see her. I said, "Hi kiddo", and asked her how she was doing. She had said she almost threw up after coming up the last big hill but that she was feeling better. I offered her some of my "Fulfill" which is Walmart's version of Propel and then she asked if she could finish the run with me. So we chatted as we came around the last corner and could see the time counting down the minutes. So we picked up our pace and I felt great. With "Living on a Prayer" playing through my ipod, we finished our 4 mile race together. This was Ana's first race ever and my second one since my right foot surgery 3 months ago.

It wasn't my best time but I am still proud of the run. I also love the tradition of running with my family and with Paul and Julia's friends...

I don't know if I can explain how I feel when I run. But I love it. I love being out there with other people who have both trained and haven't trained. There are people encouraging others and some just want their music to keep them company. But I have learned over the years - that even if I don't feel like I can finish - ever race will end at some time...and all I have to do is take one step at a time and then rest later.

My day of thankful...

2007-11-22T20:53:00.001-05:00

Thankful - Function: adjective
1: conscious of benefit received
2: expressive of thanks
3: well pleased : glad

Are we conscious of benefit received? Am I? Or am I just well pleased most of the time...hmmmm...I think I am conscious of benefits received. Over and over. But I do appreciate a nationwide holiday to make me think it through for a day.

Here's what I am most thankful for today...

I am thankful for a family that loves me even when I am selfish and unlovable - where I have learned to honor others before myself and that when you go through hard times, well then it's just "character building". That we laugh a lot and move funny and make weird noises - yep, we all do that. My family inspires me. To try things that scare me and to try to bring change into this world we live in. I could say something about each one of them but today, after spending time with my cousin Ana - I want to say that I am thankful that she is able to break down walls with her creativity and spirit! I love it!

I am thankful for my friends. Who really know me and I really know. The ones that I can talk about soul matters right away. Yeah. I like that.

I am thankful for those of you that run with me - especially this past year. And for my Ohio friends that run with me and my family in our "now" annual runs! Especially the Thanksgiving Run for the Homeless 4 miler. I can't think of a better way to start a day of thankful then running with family and friends to raise money for others.

I am thankful for a church family that allows me to explore in my faith journey with Christ. And gives me the freedom to travel and go to school. Really.

I am thankful for my brokenness.

I am thankful for my sister. I just talked to her on the phone...she's my best friend!

I am thankful for music and for words.

I am blessed.

Waiting in the airport

2007-11-19T15:00:00.000-05:00

My flight was supposed to leave about 3o minutes ago - so I am watching people in the airport. It's interesting to watch all of the different reactions of people as they realize the flights are late or moved or the wheelchair is broken. Holy Spirit come...

A side note - I have enjoyed reading other peoples experiences at NYWC 07 this year. Especially if we participated in the same thing but had a different response. I would list all of them but for some reason when I add a link to my blog, it doesn't show up. Going to try to work on that while I am at my parents for the holiday.

YS Day 3

2007-11-19T14:12:00.001-05:00

Got to sleep in a bit. I made it to the General session about 20 minutes before it started. Have always enjoyed Taylor Mason, as a matter of fact I think that he has changed how people view puppets. But his bit this time was so short - only two puppets...and not as interactive. But I am glad that I got to see him. If you haven't ever seen him, you have definitely got to if you ever get the chance.
I went backstage to chat with Marko about Meltdown 08 and I didn't get lost. It was interesting to watch lots of different people relax backstage and hang out - children as well - while they seamlessly put the different acts and speakers onstage. Also, Marko and Tic had a short conversation about what they would do if they couldn't find Doug Fields before he was supposed to be on stage - but he showed up before they got too worried. That would be the hardest part for me...not being able to get in touch with someone once the general sessions start...whew.
Zach Hunter was interviewed by Jeannie Stevens - He is the 15 year old that wrote a book about "Be the Change". So humble.
Doug Fields spoke about envy. Especially ministry envy. I don't really struggle too much with ministry envy - because as my friend Vona said today, "I just don't go there". It's not an issue for me - it does fly around me at times but it just doesn't stick. I struggle more with when I know someone is doing something they shouldn't be and no one else knows...and they fake it so well. Is it my job to call them out???? Correct? I have done that at times and pray that I have done it generosity and gentleness...but I know how crazy my heart and soul were in that time.

I went to Marko's seminar on Middle school ministry and was honestly encouraged about where our middle school ministry is. We definitely don't have it all together but we are trying to create a SAFE place for our students to engage in relationships with each other, with adults and with Jesus.

Then I left NYWC because I paid $25 for a parking spot till 4:00 p.m. because of the Lakers game downtown and some concert at the Tabernacle...and I would have had to pay another $25 to stay there for the evening. So I went to the Lenox Mall to go to Sephora, Teavana and Urban Outfitters and was actually completely overwhelmed by the amount of people - so I left as soon as I could.
Had dinner with a bunch of friends and then to bed!!!

Home...

2007-11-19T07:06:00.000-05:00

I'm going HOME!!!
I am going to be loved on and spoiled by my wonderful family...and I can't wait. Ohio - here I come! I used to not like it that my parents moved to Ohio while I was in college because when I joined them during the holidays - I didn't know anyone else. But now I love that I get a few days just to spend with them. Funny how that changes huh.